should I extend my internship?

A reader writes:

I am currently doing an unpaid internship that I am receiving college credit for this semester. I really enjoy working with my manager and after reading your previous post on extending the length of an internship, I decided to ask my manager about it. She was fine with it when I asked; however, she is always so busy between meetings, dealing with employees and doing her own work that I am often left just sitting there in her office watching her or I am asked to leave when she has an important meeting with someone. It's an internship where I am given random stuff to do so I do not have an actual desk/computer or any routine work that I can do when I come in. I tried talking to her about it a bit, but she only admited that her work keeps her busy.

What I like about it is that I can receive credit for a class and also, she really does try to do her best to make time for me when she can, but I feel like I am in her way or bothering her in her work at times. Is this worth extending the internship?

Well, first, I don't think you should make your decision based on a worry that you're in your manager's way. If you are, that's her issue to deal with -- by not saying yes to the extension. You're better off just having faith that she'll tell you if she can't accommodate the internship anymore, since otherwise you risk driving yourself crazy worrying that you're secretly burdening her.

Now, as for whether or not to extend the internship: It depends on what you want to get out of it. If you feel like you're learning things and getting useful experience, then sure. But otherwise, I would move on and look at other interning or volunteer opportunities that will benefit you in ways that this one isn't. I can't actually tell from your letter whether you feel like you're getting much out of this one or not; much of what you wrote sounds like it's not the most fruitful experience for you, but you do say that you're enjoying it, and I can't tell if you're bored or not, so a lot depends on that.

However, if you do want to stay, look for ways to improve the experience. Do you see projects that might be useful for you to take on? Or can you talk to her about whether there's something that you might work on long-term so that she doesn't need to spend time coming up with ways to occupy you? The best project in this situation would be something that would (a) benefit the company in some way, (b) not require tons of guidance from her, (c) take a good chunk of your time, and (d) not be high-risk, meaning that if it doesn't go perfectly, nothing disastrous will happen (so that she won't feel the only way you could do it is with a lot of guidance or oversight from her). 

But you can also always look at other internships out there. You might end up in something you like better, so I'd take a look at what other options you have as well. Good luck!

in which I am accused of being a bitter old woman

Someone does not like me very much and thinks I may be "older" and bitter.

Ha ha.

how to use someone else's contact when applying for a job

A reader writes:

My question is about using a contact that is a few degrees removed from me personally. She is an executive at an organization where I recently applied for a job with whom my godmother briefly worked several years ago.

My godmother instructed me to remind the executive who she was and ask whatever questions I wanted to ask via e-mail. I am not sure how to ask "do I have a chance at this job?" and "if I don't, how can I in the future?" in a way that's not greedy or entitled. My ideas are to ask for an informational interview or attach my resume and cover letter and ask if she has any advice for someone interested in work at the organization in the future, but I want to do so in a way that's as polite and gracious as possible. I guess I could also give her an out by saying if she's not available, I'd love to learn more from one of her colleagues at the organization who might have more time.

On the one hand, I don't want to ask for too much given that my connection to her is not really that strong. On the other, I do want to use the "in" if possible -- the org has a mission I'm really committed to and I devour materials like their e-mail alerts. Do you have any ideas for best practices on using these kinds of contacts and what to say when you make the initial contact?

Well, the best way to use the contact is probably to have your godmother herself reach out to her and recommend you. She should forward your application materials and explain that you recently applied for a position there, and then ideally throw in some reasons for why she recommends you (for instance, that you're smart, passionate about their mission, etc.).

In addition to that, you should also email her yourself and say that ___ recommended that you contact her personally, that you recently applied for a position with them, and that you would love any advice that she might be able to offer you. This may cue her to tell you something useful, like that they're really looking for people with a background in __ for this position but that they have an unadvertised position for __ that you might be perfect for, or who knows what. Or she may simply recommend to whoever is doing the hiring for this position that they take a look at you.

Definitely mention in your email to her what you wrote here about devouring their email alerts. Nonprofits love hearing that, and she will definitely take time to look at your application if you say that. (It won't get you the job if you're not well-matched for it, but it will get you attention, which is the first step, and it will make you more attractive than otherwise equally qualified candidates.)

Regarding informational interviews, I'm not a huge fan, as I think people too often ask for them when what they really mean is "will you interview me for a job?"  But in this case, because you're sincerely interested in working at this particular organization and are committed to its mission, it might be a useful thing to do. But wait until the hiring for this job is over, because otherwise you'll come across as if you're just trying to get an interview under false pretenses. If you don't get this job, absolutely reach out to her again, tell her how much you'd like to work there in some capacity, and ask if you can buy her coffee to pick her brain. (But make sure you have a plan for what you're going to ask.)

I don't think you need to worry about sounding greedy or entitled; you don't sound that way at all, and because you're so wary of coming across that way, you almost certainly won't. Good luck!

the problem with job-hopping

Nick Corcodilos and Mark Suster take on the myth that "job hopping doesn't matter," and they're right. Read Nick's take and Mark's take -- both of which are excellent.

update from reader whose boss wouldn't let her go on vacation

There was a lot of interest in the letter from the person whose boss refused to let her go on a pre-planned vacation, so I wanted to point out that she has posted an update in the comments over there. It's here.

are online application processes avoidable?

A reader writes:

Is there a way to get around what seems to be some very ridiculous online application processes? Redundant questions (like what grade school you attended, and major declared!) make me want to put a shoe through my computer screen. I'm applying for positions that demand skilled labor and have whipped up some pretty attention-getting letter and resume material (both verbally and visually). Having to turn this effort into plain text pasted into type fields ruins my layout efforts, breaks my heart, and not to mention, decimates all the work I did to try and stand out from the crowd.

But I never say die. I've dug around and have usually found the business email address of the company's HR screener or even the likely person I'd be reporting to — and even from the companies that are working really hard to stay anonymous. I then send my stuff as an attachment in an email. I have a pretty good subject heading, and figured if I got this in my box I'd open it even out of curiosity. My rationale is that I'm hoping the strong content of my letter and resume will grab the person's attention enough to want to just contact me themselves (or pass it on to HR) since this is who I'd likely be reporting to anyhow.

Is this kind of boldness (and what I like to think of as ambitiousness) in reality ruining any chance of getting contacted? 

In some cases, probably. In other cases, maybe not. Different companies work differently. At some places, if you don't use the online application system (which they required you to use for a reason, such as that they can't get you into their applicant tracking system otherwise), you're not going to get considered. At other places, that may not matter so much. 

But does this come across as particularly bold or ambitious? Candidly, not really; aggressive, yes, but that's different from bold or ambitious. And you risk coming across as an "instructions don't apply to me" type.

I'm further worried by your mention of "attention-getting" visuals and a curiosity-inducing subject-line. Sometimes these things can work, but when they don't, they can be really bad. And the owners of the bad ones traditionally are poor judges of whether or not theirs fall in that category.

I get that you're trying to stand out in a crowded field. But the better way to do that is by being a really strong candidate, and I get the sense that you might be putting more of an emphasis on gimmicks. 

(And think about the type of manager who you're self-selecting for by using this approach -- one who responds to gimmicks over merit.)

If you really want to grab attention, find a connection to this job or company and have them personally recommend you to the person doing the hiring. That's going to serve you a lot better than a notable subject line or a visually stunning resume.

just tell me your real name

Okay, this one is for college students and recent grads.

Someone along the way, someone gave you the idea that it's unprofessional to use anything but your full, given name, even if everyone in your life calls you something else. While this is sort of adorable, you should drop this idea.

It's disconcerting to go through the whole interview process with Katherine and hire her, only to discover on her second day of work that she's Katie. Or weirder, to discover that the William who I spent several weeks talking with, and who I now know as William, actually goes by his middle name, Peter.

There's nothing unprofessional about middle names, or about Katie, Jim, Liz, or whatever your nickname is. This isn't like school where you have to register with your full and complete birth name.  We're all adults here; just tell me what to call you and don't confuse me.