8 ways companies can throw holiday parties employees will want to attend

Every year around this time, I hear from people complaining about various ways their companies are mishandling the holiday party, so here are eight rules for throwing a better company party.

1. Hold it during work hours, especially if attendance is any way obligatory. Seriously. People will be much more enthusiastic about attending.

2. After you follow rule #1, make arrangements so that no one is stuck covering the phones while everyone else goes to the party.

3. Don't expect people to read your mind. If there are work repercussions to not attending, be honest and tell people they're expected to attend. But if the event is truly supposed to be for their enjoyment, accept that some people won't show up because they don't enjoy such events (or would rather spend their non-work time doing something else), and be okay with that. Don't penalize people for not going, even just in your head.

4. Do not hold the party on a boat. People must be able to escape at any time.

5. Under no circumstances should employees need to pay to attend. If you need to charge your party guests in order to cover your expenses, that's a sign that you need to have a less lavish party.

6. Hanukkah ornaments do not belong on a Christmas tree.

7. Door prizes. Have them.

8. Consider letting your staff vote on whether they want a holiday party or a day off ... and don't be upset when lots of people vote for the day off.

knee-high boots and business casual attire

A reader writes:

I know you answer mostly work behavioral questions, but I have a question regarding attire. I work at a hospital (not as a health provider) that requires business casual attire. Now that the weather's getting really chilly, I want to wear boots, knee high boots in particular. I'm not talking about patent leather, spiky heel, thigh highs, but just a tall boot that helps keep the legs warm. Something like the ones here. What is your opinion on boots for business casual attire?

If only you knew how very much not equipped I am to answer fashion questions. And the last time I answered one, I had to shut down the comment section (a historical first) because things became so contentious.

But in any case ... in general, I think that knee-high boots are totally appropriate for business casual, as long as you're not wearing them with a micro-mini skirt. (They can also be appropriate for more formal environments. Check out this picture of Condoleeza Rice.)

However, the ones you linked to in particular are over-the-knee boots, which I think takes them into a different category of edgy, one that's too much for a lot of business casual environments. But if they stopped at the knee, I think you could wear them without any worry.

Anyone want to present an anti-boot argument?

short answer Saturday: 7 short answers to short questions

I'm trying something new -- seven short answers to seven short questions, all in the same post:

company won't hire former employees of competitor

I applied for a job at a staffing agency and was told the particular company who was hiring wouldn't accept applicants who worked previously for their competitor even though I no longer work for them. Is that a form of discrimination or can I do something about that?

It might be a stupid policy, but it's legal. Companies can legally discriminate for any reason they want, as long as it's not linked to your membership in a legally protected class (things like race, religion, sex, nationality, marital status, etc.). Where you worked previously isn't a protected class. 

how can my wife make her office stop calling her on her time off?

My wife works a very stressful job. She is a salary employee. She rarely allowed to take PTO. When she does her boss and co workers constantly call her. Is there any legal action we can take? We live in NJ and her company in based in NC.

Legal action? Not that I can think of. Other action? Yes. Turn off the phone. Or get a Google Voice number and program calls from their phone numbers to go to voicemail during certain hours. 

More constructively, she should talk to her boss about this. Believe it or not, some bosses genuinely don't realize that doing this is a problem, and if you point it out, it will stop. (Not always, but often enough that it's worth trying.) In fact, straightforward conversation about a problem is the answer more often than you'd think.

recruiters who demand to know my salary

I often get calls from recruiters asking for my current salary. Even though I ask them back how much do they have in mind for the job, they are still hell bent on first getting a response from me on my salary. Then I tell them a range, like 50-80k, but this sours them. Firstly, why do they want to know how much I am making? Can’t they stick with what they are planning to offer for the job and then both sides do further negotiations? Secondly, does it help being honest about your salary? In any case, I would have in mind an expectation beyond which I cannot stretch, so what is the harm in giving an honest number?

They want to know how much you're making because they're lazy and/or not particularly thoughtful. They think it's a good way to determine how much you're worth, instead of evaluating a larger picture. 

Whether or not you should be forthcoming is a subject of heated debate. Sure, it helps in that you'll find out right away if your range is higher than theirs. But it can hurt if it means they offer you less money than they previously had in mind. Personally, I'm a big fan of the idea of saying that your salary is covered by your confidentiality agreement with your employer, and would love to hear from anyone who has tried this.

format for emailing a cover letter

Can you please advise on the format to be used in emailing a cover letter? For example, do you list the company name and address or just address it to the person? I appreciate your help. I had been working for a company for 20 years, and resigned last year and just started looking for job. The cover letter has been a struggle for me.

I'm surprised how often this question comes up. There's no one way it must be done. Some people attach both their resume and cover letter as PDFs or Word documents; other people put the cover letter in the body of the email and just attach the resume. Personally, I like the latter, but you can do it either way.

And if your letter's text is in the body of the email, treat it like a regular email -- meaning that you wouldn't list the name and address of the recipient at the top because that's weird to do in an email.

creative resume design: yay or nay?

How would you react when receiving a CV that really stands out of the rest because of its appealing design?

Since last year I have realized there's a trend to "design" your CV following the infography model, and I don't mean a CV from the typically creative kind of person (graphic designers, copywriters, artists), but also from persons applying to engineering, industrial production or even executive positions. Definitely they make a recruiter to stop and look at them more than just few seconds. But do you think it facilitates your job to find the candidate's information you are looking for?

It does not facilitate my job -- it makes it harder. The most important thing about your resume design is that I need to be able to read it clearly, without straining, and I want to be able to quickly scan it and get the highlights. Creativity, while a nice trait, doesn’t trump those requirements, so make sure your desire to "stand out" isn’t getting in the way of the whole point of resume design.

(It’s true that in certain fields, creative resumes can be a plus. If you’re determined to go in this direction, consider your challenge to be to demonstrate your creativity without overriding the requirements above.)

mentioning you're a shareholder of the company you're applying to

I'm applying to positions at a couple of tech companies that I am either currently or previously a shareholder of. Is this a positive thing to mention in a cover letter? I view it as being interested and invested in the company, but I've certainly been off the mark before. I would love your opinion.

Hmmm, I don't know. I suppose if you owned a significant number of shares, or if you had a compelling explanation for why you bought those shares, it would be taken as being particularly invested (non-literally) in the company, but otherwise I'm not sure it really conveys anything. 

is my boss thinking of promoting me?

I just started a new job in a great agency in my field but its a position in which I am overqualified for in terms of experience and education. I think my supervisor knows that I am overqualified although we have not yet discussed it. Right away my supervisor has been giving me special projects to develop such as groups for clients and creating a policy book for the program based on what I am learning about the program. These projects are not being assigned to my co-workers. So, my question: is my supervisor looking at me for a possible promotion in the future? I would just like some clarification as to what is going on. Any insight would be appreciated.

Maybe. Or maybe she just figures she has someone working for her who can do more than the job normally requires, so why not utilize that? Or maybe she hasn't even really thought it out yet; she's just assigning work to the person who seems likely to do the best job with it. 

You just started so it's a little early to ask about possible promotions, but at your one-year evaluation, I'd say something like, "I'm really loving the work, especially (name the special projects here), and would love to talk about more responsibilities in that area, including the possibility of more formal growth within the organization at some point."

should you work for free?

Should you work for free?  I want to know what you think.

But wait, it's not that simple. Here are six separate scenarios. Would you work for free in any of these situations? Why or why not?

1. Doing some work for free, for a limited time period, in order to get experience in a field you want to move into (and in which you currently have no applicable experience).

2. Lending your skills as a volunteer to a nonprofit organization that does good work on a cause you care about. This nonprofit has very limited financial resources and its staff works for low salaries.

3. Lending your skills as a volunteer to a nonprofit organization that does good work on a cause you care about. This nonprofit is well-funded and its (talented and in-demand) executive director earns six figures, but the organization uses volunteers in order to put more funds toward its program work.

4. Doing regular work for free for an organization that will look prestigious on your resume. The work is demanding but people are impressed when they learn you're associated with them.

5. The same prestigious work as in #4, but now you've already been doing it for a year or two. Have you derived all the benefit you need/want from it, or do you continue?

6. Offering your services for free for a limited time to prove yourself to an employer or client you really want to work for. 

Have at it in the comments! I'm very interested in hearing what people think.

tell me what you think

You ask me questions all the time, and now I want to ask you a couple.

I'm working with Ben Eubanks to create something kind of awesome, but I want to ask you a couple of questions in order to narrow down the direction we're taking it in so that we can make sure it actually has value to you.

Would you answer four short questions for me? All sorts of excitement awaits you in a few weeks if you do (including something free in exchange for your help) ...

TAKE THE SURVEY HERE

how can I convince my husband I can't accept a job offer on his behalf?

A reader posted the following yesterday in the comments section on a post from February:

My husband was offered a job position where I work. We got into a huge argument today because I wouldn't do him a favor and call my boss to say he accepts the position. I was telling him how unprofessional and how bad that looks. My husband has not been consistently working since 2002! I just want validation that I made the right call. 

I posted my own comment there in response:

Wow. Uh, yeah, you made the right call. You should each handle your own relationship with your employer independently of the other. That's crazy.

And she then followed up with:

Thank you for validation! He is away this weekend volunteering at a tournament where he can play and stay for free. So we left the weekend on a sour note. Anyway, when he gets home, how should I follow up with him (what would you say)? I feel like my right advice might come out the wrong way! Ugh! He ended the argument with, "fine, I don't want the job!" He loves to go to the extreme when we disagree.

I kind of want to yell at your husband and wish I could call him. This is just totally, utterly insane.

Frankly, I'm worried about the two of you working at the same company if he doesn't understand why this is wildly inappropriate. Is this really going to be the only time this kind of issue comes up? (I'm also wondering why he doesn't want to accept his own job offer -- accepting a job offer isn't exactly difficult work. To say nothing of whatever's up with him refusing to respect your professional boundaries, even if he disagrees with them.)

In any case, here are the two main points you should make to him:

• The manager is hiring your husband, not you (despite the fact that you do work there too). The particular relationship in question is one that he's entering into with your husband, not with you, and by having you call to discuss a business arrangement that doesn't involve you, he is signaling that he doesn't understand that. If I were the manager, this would raise all kinds of questions about what else he won't understand about professional boundaries -- is he going to involve you in salary negotiations, or interpersonal disputes? Is he going to ask you to tell his boss when he can't meet a deadline?

• Accepting a job offer isn't just a matter of checking a "yes" box. There's discussion to be be had. When I make a job offer to someone and they accept it, I want to talk to them -- them personally, not an emissary! I want to welcome them to the team, tell them how excited I am to have them. And I want to talk about logistics -- start date, maybe even initial projects. With them, not their spouse.

So that's for your husband. But now I have two points for you too:

• Making this phone call will make you look bad too. You'll appear to condone it and think it's appropriate, and the manager will start worrying that neither of you understand that you each have separate, independent relationships with the employer. Don't jeopardize your professional reputation.

• When two spouses (or two significant others) work at the same company, you have to really make a point of drawing appropriate boundaries. You guys should be talking about what strategies you'll use to handle the potentially strange dynamics of both working at the same place, but I'm going to guess that he has zero appreciation of the need for that, as he seems to think you're both just attending the same neighborhood picnic or something. You're going to need to do what you can to get on the same page about this.

Do others want to weigh in with points I'm missing? I'm so worked up over this one that I'm sure I've missed something else important.

unemployed candidates need not apply, and fired for being too hot

Two job-related stories have drawn a bunch of attention recently: the woman alleging CitiBank fired her for being "too hot," and the Texas company that posted a job advertisement that specified that unemployed candidates shouldn't apply.

I'm interested to hear your take on both of these, but mine is this:

The Texas company is crazy, of course. Any sensible hiring manager knows that the job market has been horrible and that good people have had an awful time finding jobs. Good hiring professionals don't hold unemployment against candidates, as long as they've done something productive with their time away.

Also: People shouldn't assume that this one ridiculous company represents a trend -- it's just one company doing something stupid and short-sighted.

As for the woman who claims she was fired for being too hot, well, the video that came out of her talking about her breast implants and desire to be "sex on a stick" doesn't help her credibility. Neither does her behavior in the media; originally she sounded like a sympathetic victim, but the more she talks, the fewer favors she does herself. I have no idea if CitiBank did truly do what she alleges, but I do know that she's not the poster child I'd want for discrimination, and the way she's conducting herself all over the talk show circuit doesn't really support the idea that she cares about her professional reputation.

bitchy vs. authoritative - guess which one you are, ladies?

This is a post from November 2007 that I'm reprinting now because I'm feeling highly annoyed about this concept.

Management Line reports that a new study finds that "female bosses who are seen as unkind or insensitive are judged as worse managers. People, however, are prepared to overlook the same traits displayed by male managers. In other words, male and female managers are judged by different standards."

This adds yet another frustrating layer to that already-infuriating chestnut about authoritative women seeming bitchy, while authoritative men seem like strong leaders. I'll admit that I don't know how much of this is my own internal hang-up, but as a female boss myself, it's sometimes in the back of my mind that I might be being perceived as "bitchy" when I take a hard line with someone, when a man doing the same thing would just be perceived as resolute and authoritative. (I can also think of a couple of occasions in the past where just being friendly and empathetic -- stereotypically "feminine" traits -- has led some men to take me less seriously. I don't think that's happened in a few years though, which might be a result of me becoming ancient and withered.)

If I have to be seen as either the bitch who gets things done or the pushover who doesn't, I'll take "bitch who gets things done." It's infuriating that it has to be a choice, of course; I doubt many men are out there worrying that they're seen as insufficiently sweet.

Related post: On balls and lack thereof

a reader's happy ending

Warning: There's no question here. Just praise and a happy ending.

A reader writes:

I don't have a question, I just want to say thanks for all the great advice!

I started reading you blog this past fall, after I was laid off. I've been working 15 years in the fashion industry in New York City. I had been pretty happy in my job, so I hadn't interviewed in seven years! So the job search process was pretty daunting, at first.

Your blog was so helpful to me, especially the posts on interviewing. I was never thrown by any questions, because you prepared me for them. I was able to really turn the interviews into dialogues, and figure out if I wanted to work for them. I was able to identify what I am best at and what kind of culture I thrive in.

I got a job offer on Monday that I am thrilled about! It's a great fit for my background, I will be able to learn so much from my boss. I had long interview (dialogue!) with him and I am pretty sure we will have a great working relationship. The company is very dynamic. And the salary and benefits are great.

I will have a team reporting to me again, so I will be reading and rereading all your posts on managing.

This is awesome. And so are you, for taking the time to write and tell me. And oh, it melts my heart to read about people focusing on whether a job is the right job, rather than just a job. 

Congratulations on the new position! 

grad school is not your escape

From a Monday New York Times article on the job market for new grads:

Liam O'Reilly, who just graduated from the University of Maryland with a bachelor's degree in history, said he had applied to 50 employers -- to be a paralegal, a researcher for a policy organization, an administrative assistant -- but he had gotten hardly any interviews. While continuing to search for something he truly wants, he has taken a minimum-wage job selling software that includes an occasional commission.

"Had I realized it would be this bad, I would have applied to grad school," Mr. O'Reilly said.

Nooooo.

Grad school is not a way to prolong the day of reckoning. 

You go to grad school if you want to pursue a career that requires it. You do not go to grad school for the hell of it, or because you don't know what else you want to do, or because the job market is bad and it's somewhere to hide out for a while.

Liam isn't alone in thinking this way. I see countless job applicants with freshly minted masters degrees that they're not going to use, and I see countless people making plans for grad school when they can't explain why they need to.

Grad school is expensive. It's time-consuming. And it generally will not make you more marketable, unless you're going into a field that specifically requires a graduate degree. What it will do is keep you from getting work experience for that much longer, meaning that when you're done, your peers who have been working full-time while you were in school will be more competitive than you. It might also limit you by requiring you to find a higher-paying job than you might otherwise need, in order to pay back those loans (without actually increasing your earning power). And if you apply for jobs that have nothing to do with your graduate degree, employers will think you don't really want the job you're applying for, since it's not in "your field."

Being a new grad entering this job market is scary. I can understand why staying in the warm bosom of academia a little longer would be appealing. But using grad school as an escape isn't a good answer. 

P.S. 50 applications isn't that many for an entry-level candidate, especially when it apparently produced some interviews. Keep persisting!

company doesn't care about building security

A reader writes:

Hope you can help address this pretty strange situation that is occurring in my office. My desk is the closest desk to the side door/parking lot door. Most building foot traffic comes through this door since it leads right to the parking lot/straight to the office area, so it's heavily used. With the way the building is set up, whenever the central air conditioning system is on, the door (which is normally magnetically held shut and opened with an RFID card) is kept open with a gust of air, leading to a whistling/howling sound as air rushes out. This is a minor (albeit annoying) issue compared to my next complaint...

Once in a while, people open the door from the outside without their RFID card. Since the door is held open with the air conditioning gusts, it's sort of expected for people to just pull the door open and walk in. Sometimes, people that come in aren't part of the company.. meaning people can walk in and walk around without anyone noticing. We all have cubicles on the first floor with a 6' wall around us so we don't get to see everything.. just the sounds of the RFID reader beeping, the howling of the door being held open, etc. Yesterday, I heard the door howling so I got up to do my normal routine of shutting the door and making sure it stays shut, I see some unknown person walking out of the building trying to shut the door behind him. I never saw this person before and thought it was strange, so after I closed the door and had a moment to think about it, I went outside to see if I can see if this guy belonged to a maintenance truck or something doing work on the building. Nope, nothing.. guy was gone.

I go to complain to HR about this (as I am the first desk by the door, I don't want people walking in and potentially taking something or worse) and the head of HR just blows it off like I am complaining about the sound (which I have done in the past, to no avail). I tell him that my concern now is with unknown/unwanted people wandering around the office. His response was to start chasing people out of the building. I am not building security nor do I think I should put myself in such a situation. We are a credit card processing firm so we take risks/compliance very seriously and I don't think that leaving a door wide open during the summer would go well with security analysts.

Essentially my question is: What should I do? HR blows this off as me complaining and whining, my manager and his boss work in different countries so they are not witness to this. I am honestly at a loss of what to do about this situation. I don't think I feel safe walking away from my desk and leaving anything behind if someone can walk in and just take something without anyone knowing. Nor do I think I should be the one to confront these people if anything should happen.

HR is probably blowing you off because you complained to them earlier about the sound of the door, and now they think that's your real concern.

If I'm understanding correctly, the problem is caused when someone uses the door, because then the air from the AC system causes it to stay open, right? So the issue is that people aren't pulling the door shut all the way and ensuring it locks shut? One way to handle this would be for the company to crack down on that, and require people to treat the door as a security measure -- which it is -- that they need to utilize properly, meaning ensuring it locks shut each time they go in or out.  Another would be to talk with your building operations management and find out if the AC vent causing the issue can be redirected in a way that will solve the problem. 

You might get somewhere by suggesting these two options to whoever at your company is in charge of security compliance, since HR doesn't care. Frame it as a compliance issue.

You can also explain to your manager what you explained here; just because he doesn't work out of that office doesn't mean he's not capable of processing what you're saying. Again, frame it as a security issue.

But if your company just doesn't care, I'd get a cabinet that locks and keep any personal belongings you want to keep secure in there.

my company throws A List and B List parties for employees

A reader writes:

I am a "peak period employee" of a large company. Although I have worked 1000+ hours per year for them every year for the last decade, employees of my status are not invited to the annual holiday party. This is reserved for full-time permanent employees, and is usually a very splashy affair: evening dress, wine, dancing, etc.

In 2009 the human resources department inaugurated a B-list party (my term, not their term). Employees not invited to the A-list party were invited to go to a local $9.99 buffet that features plastic bibs emblazoned with the slogan "Put on a Bib! Oink! Oink! Pig out on Ribs! Oink! Oink!" Several tepid speeches were given, and paper awards handed out to all.

I will not be attending this party next year, if it is given. Non-attendees of the 2009 B-list party were gently chastised for not showing up to claim their holiday thank-you certificate (not quite all A-list people got year-end cash bonuses, but most did. No B-listers ever get them, even when vastly outperforming A-listers at the same job in far fewer hours).

I find it difficult to believe that my company does not understand that having two separate but unequal parties is just rubbing salt in the wound. I will say something in our end-of-season job satisfaction survey about this, but are they really going to pay attention to an anonymous survey response? If I approach HR about this will I merely sound trite and whiny? How seriously would you take this as a manager?

Yeah, this is a weird (and rude) practice. It's hard to imagine how someone thought this wouldn't produce resentment, irritation, and mockery.

That said ... I wouldn't make a big deal of it, because there are bigger things to care about. Things like: Do you have a fair and effective manager? Are you given clear goals and expectations? Do you receive recognition for good work, and feedback about ways you can do better? Do you have the resources to do your job? How's the pay? Do you like the people you work with?

Now, if these dual parties are representative of other poor treatment from the company, then that's an issue ... but in that case, you should be focusing on those bigger issues anyway. If they're not, and it's just some weird and misguided decision on their part, I'd let it go. Enjoy it for the piece of ridiculousness it is and don't dwell on it too much beyond that.

on not being anonymous

When I started this blog back in May 2007, I was anonymous. I stayed anonymous until May 2008, when I started writing a weekly item for U.S. News & World Report and decided, what the hell, I'll use my name.

Overall, I'm glad to be able to attach my name to this site -- it's an awful lot of work to toil away in secret over -- but there have been a few weird effects:

* Sometimes people who are applying for a job with me make a reference to it -- as in, "well, I'm not going to answer the weaknesses question that way because I know you hate it" or whatever. It's a weird cheat sheet to how to interview well with me. Fortunately that hasn't skewed things too much, because ...

* Perhaps more interesting is the number of people applying for a job with me who clearly don't read it. People, google your interviewer. You may find a cheat sheet.

* I once received a cover letter from an applicant that was MY cover letter -- the sample I have posted here. She'd made a couple of alterations to it, but it was mine. I didn't know if she'd done it intentionally, realizing the site she'd taken it from was the site of the person she was applying with, or if it was pure coincidence, so I asked. She claimed it was the former, but that's so weird that I'm still not sure.

* Since my coworkers now know about my blog, I worry that they think that I must think I'm some perfect dream manager, which I'm not. I always want to tell them that I'm not deluded about this. I'm a better than average manager, but it's easier to give good advice most of the time than to get real life right every single day. (On the other hand, I have no idea how often they read it, if at all.)

I'm curious: Have other people who have switched out of anonymity been glad they did it? Regretted it? Suffered ill effects?

company makes us share hotel rooms

A reader writes:

Whenever we have an out-of-town business trip, upper management sets us up in double rooms (with a "roommate"). I understand trying to cut costs with the economy what it is, but this seems odd. It's nice to come back to the privacy of your hotel room after a full day of business meetings or conferences. Have you heard of this practice at other companies? How would you recommend handling this?

Yep, it's not uncommon, especially for junior level employees. In the nonprofit world, it's more common than not.

I'm right there with you on wanting privacy, and traveling for work can be a real pain in the ass so it would be nice to have more amenities when you're doing it ... but yeah, not uncommon.

This is a particularly lame and short answer.

can a spouse contact an employer?

A reader writes:

I am an HR Generalist at a health care facility in a semi-rural area. I wanted to get your opinion on having spouses involved in a candidate's job search. Specifically, calling to check on the status of an application, asking why the candidate did not get an interview, hired, etc.? I typically thank them for calling, and then ask to speak with the candidate directly. I consider this a negative for the candidate because it seems like they do not have the motivation nor the desire to conduct their own job search. When I lived in a major metropolitan area, I never encountered this phenomenon.

A spouse should never contact an employer or a prospective employer. Not unless it's to say the spouse is in the hospital and unable to come to work or make it to the interview.

There are no exceptions to this.

It looks unprofessional and, as you said, it raises questions about why the spouse isn't bothering to make the call themselves.

Why do people do this?!

I have a theory, actually: I'm convinced anyone who does this is in one of those unsettling relationships with no boundaries, where they share an email account and never see their friends without the other one there and almost definitely aren't allowed to stay in touch with exes. And if that's your thing, great -- but don't assume the rest of the world wants to play by your rules, because we don't. (And that's the weirdest part of it, actually -- the assumption that other people will accept and embrace this boundary-less world they've created between the two of them. That's their deal, not ours.)

when does advice become consulting?

A reader writes:

I work in the field of Community Development with an expertise in sustainable agriculture. In the past few years as the organic movement has increased, I have been contacted by nonprofit and government organizations who were referred to me by casual colleagues to answer questions and give advice to people and organizations with regard to their new agriculture programs. I always speak with these people, free of charge, and have been told on occasion that my advice was helpful or that I was the inspiration for their new project. The conversations last maybe an hour by phone or visit, or consist of a few emails.

Can my service to these organizations at any time on a resume be listed as consulting? I ask because I don't want to mislead anyone about the extent of my participation in these programs; but I have noticed that some people who gave me advice on a start up project I did two years ago are claiming that they were my consultant on their resumes and websites with the same amount of advice (only less helpful) that I gave to others, and I felt a little irritated by it because they made it seem as though they were instrumental in the start up and have received industry recognition (such as speaking engagements) on a project that they really didn't participate in other than a brief conversation. I don't want anyone to feel that way about me, but I would like to break into consulting at some time in the future.

Is there some middle ground here to listing this on a resume without being presumptuous and sounding like I am taking too much credit for somebody else's hard work?

Great question. There's no hard and fast rule, like "after two hours, it becomes consulting." But I think a good rule of thumb is to base it on the amount of effort you put in.

For instance, I just sent another organization some advice on laws relating to employee handbooks. I just wrote up a quick email, and it took me 10 minutes, so I wouldn't call that consulting. But if I reviewed their handbook, or if I took the time to meet with them in person, then I would.

Perhaps a good litmus test is: Could you have relayed this same information at a cocktail party? If so, it's probably too light to count. If not, definitely call it consulting.

Anyone have a better way to make the call?

old schedule won't work for new job

A reader writes:

I was promoted last week to a lead. I will be relocating to another store shortly in 1 week within the same company to work in this new role.

I am enrolled at a community college and notified my manager of it. She had no problem and took me off the schedule for Mondays. I have only two classes on Monday and I can work every day even weekends. Nobody in the interview process asked me about school or other jobs. It didn't seem like a huge deal because I already had that schedule with my current boss.

My new store manager was told today that I have requested Mondays off for college. She was mad and told me that she would be contacting the district manager to see what will happen, or what she should do. She told me that I need to have open availability and that the district manager will be mad. I might just stay at my store and they will take back the position that I got. My pay has changed and I am ready for the move and don't know what to do. Help!

Unfortunately, you should have mentioned it during the interview process. The people interviewing you probably assumed you were available during normal business hours and that you would mention it if you needed a different arrangement.

It sounds like you assumed that since it was the same company, knowledge of the arrangement would be passed along and it would be fine. I'm not beating you up for that -- I know that people are often kind of mystified about what they do and don't need to raise in these situations. But for the future, err on the side of raising anything at all that's non-traditional, because you can't assume they do know or that something that was fine in one area of the company will also be fine in another.

As for what to do now: It doesn't sound like your new manager necessarily objects to this schedule, but instead that she's concerned the district manager won't like it, probably because it hasn't been done before. Plenty of things can be approved when they make sense, even if they haven't been done before, as long as you make a rational case for them.

So the best thing to do is to explain how it worked in your other position, how you think it'll work in this one, and what you're willing to do to make sure things go smoothly.

However, it's possible that after it's discussed, they'll tell you that it's just not workable in this new role. If that happens, you would need to decide whether you want to turn down the new job, or drop the classes so that you can accept it. But the most important thing is to discuss it candidly now and figure out if it can work for all sides. Good luck!

you're welcome

A reader writes:

My partner and I have just moved countries, which has required me to begin looking for a new job. In my quest, I have been voraciously reading your blog and I am so thankful that such a wealth of helpful information exists in one place. Every single topic is so useful and insightful and I'm excited to put my new found knowledge to the test.

This email is just a short note to say a deeply sincere "Thank You" for producing this. It has made such a difference for me, and I'm sure for the many others who also read your blog. I am recommending it to all my friends and am so appreciative for the difference that your efforts are making in people's lives.

I don't normally post notes like this, but I'm in the mood for some appreciation, so here it is. Thank YOU for writing and saying this; it really means a lot to me to hear. And thank you to the rest of you who have from time to time said similar things. It's why I'm here.

what should I make of this very nice HR person?

A reader writes:

I recently had an interview with a company, and I ended up being late for the interview. I know this is a huge no-no, but I called them about 10 minutes before I knew I would be late, because I was lost. I left an hour before the interview and the drive was 15 minutes, but between finding parking and being the victim of a lot of one way streets, I ended up being late.

The HR rep contacted me five minutes after I was late because no one answered when I called. I explained that I was lost and had tried to call. She understood completely and said it happened a lot. I ended up getting there a half hour late, but they offered to reschedule, because they wanted to have more time to talk to me. Also, the HR rep gave me a tour of the office, which was incredible, by the way.

I've never had it happen where the company rescheduled an interview with a candidate who was this late, and even offered to take them on a tour of the office. Would you say this is a good sign of how interested the company is in me, or are they just being nice?

Hard to say, could go either way. I'm leaning toward it indicating that they have a pretty strong interest in you, but it could just be that you encountered a very nice HR person.

Either way, thank her profusely when you return for the rescheduled interview!

Anyone else want to read anything into this?

what bad job news were you later grateful for?

Sometimes bad news is really good news, although we don't know it at the time.

For instance:

* You're fired from a job and as a result end up in one that's far better for you.

* You don't get a job offer from the company you hoped would give you one, which means that you're free to accept the offer from your dream company a month later.

* You don't get the job and later hear that the boss is an abusive tyrant.

With so many people dealing with bad news in their job search, I thought it could be interesting to hear what bad news you've encountered that you later were grateful for. Any stories from you guys?