how do I tell disabled employees they can't have a handicapped parking space?

A reader writes:

I work in a call center of approximately 2,000 employees of which 1,500 are customer service representatives. In order to accommodate such a large staff, we have completely revamped our parking policy. In the past, our CSRs were allowed to park on our main campus for one reason or another. The campus has parking for 410 employees only, so some of our middle managers were forced to parked at one of our two satellite locations. To better align our parking based on role, the company moved all CSRs to one large satellite location which accommodates over 1,000 cars and provides shuttle service to transport our associates to and from. All middle managers and above are now assigned a specific space on campus.

We have also doubled the number of handicap spaces to accommodate our associates in need and they were assigned as well on a first come, first serve basis. How do I say to our handicapped associates, who did not get an on-site space, that there are no more handicap spaces available? Our senior management is totally against saying this right out, and wants me to find a way to say no without really saying no.

The law does require that we provide 1 handicap space for every 25 spaces we have on our lot. That we have done, plus extra handicap spaces have been provided. We are out of handicap spaces and have provided on-site spaces, but not handicap spaces. Now, we have no spaces left. How do we say this in a nice manner?

Why? Why wouldn't you want to provided handicapped employees with spaces that are easier on them?

Is there some problem where employees are pretending to need handicapped parking when they really don't? I mean, in junior high I used to keep an ace bandage in my locker so that I could wrap up my wrist with it and pretend to have a sprain so that I could get out of gym class, but I really doubt that you have a bunch of adults who are feigning disability.

So assuming that you have employees with a genuine need, give them the spaces.

And if you don't want to -- which I find inexplicable -- then there's a little law called the Americans with Disabilities Act that's probably going to require it anyway. Explain that to your senior management who are making this request of you.

If this means that some of your managers have to park in the satellite lot and ride the shuttle, well, so be it. Assign the remaining spaces based on seniority. If the ones who have to take the shuttle complain that they should get a closer space over someone with a disability, that'll tell you a lot about their character.

former coworker hates me; can I apply for a job at her company?

A reader writes:

I'm job hunting and I asked a former colleague about an opportunity at her current job. She wasn't helpful at all. Matter of fact, she changed the subject. I think she doesn't want me working with her, and worse, I think she would speak badly of me if anyone asked about my qualifications. What's strange and most hurtful is that we were once supposed to be friends... at least, that's how she portrayed herself to be my friend while working there. Turns out she wasn't a friend at all.

She isn't really able to speak about my abilities, but I was a target of ugly gossip where we used to work. The rumor monger was a person whom she was friends with, and the attacks were intended to discredit me and my abilities. The rumor spinner and I didn't like each other personally, but I kept it professional by not talking badly about him; he didn’t return the favor. How my former friend fits in is that I later learned that she also contributed to the bad stories going on behind my back while she worked there. She repeated everything I ever told her about anything and added to the stories some things I'd never say. I have nothing to hide, but that is still a horrible thing to do. I never confronted her, because she would deny it, so discussing it kind of defeats any purpose (and I believe in karma). You know the old saying: with a friend like that, who needs enemies? I very slowly stopped communications with her, and never said a word to anyone about the whole situation.

I was hoping that she would have stopped being ugly and in the spirit of laws of attraction, should would try to be a good networking participant, but that isn't happening. I've submitted applications to her employer anyway, because I've been qualified the jobs, but I have a feeling that if they got to the panel for review and she was on it, she would find a way to eliminate me from the process.

Though my former supervisor has given me a fabulous endorsement about my work ethic and quality on my online professional networking profile (and I have a dream of a recommendation from my company's the top executive), I'm not sure anyone from the former colleague's company would go to the site to see them, or give me the benefit of the doubt. I've made peace with her duplicity, but I'm annoyed that I could be left out of consideration, because of her.

Should I try to repair this relationship (because I really need a job), confront her, or should I just continue moving on and stop applying for jobs at her company?

Um, you should stop applying for jobs at her company. Why would you want to work someone with someone who spread negative rumors about you at your last job? She'd be likely to do it again at this one.

You should also stop trying to network with her, as what you've written here indicates that she'd be more likely to harm your efforts than to help them.

Unless her employer is the only employer in a 50-mile radius of you, I can't imagine why you're at all comfortable with the idea of working with her again.

I like that you're trusting and forgiving, but in this case, trusting this person would put you in a dangerous situation. Move on.

coworker brushes hair with fork, cleans false teeth at desk

A reader writes:

I work for a company that has the FDA (Food and Drug Admin) come in often for audits. Every single thing every employee does can be audited. Therefore, procedures are put into place that must be followed.

A co-worker takes many shortcuts and does not follow these procedures. I have pointed this out numerous times to my team leader and even went to Human Resources at one point. We have an employee handbook of sorts that states specifically that if an employee does not follow certain procedures, it is grounds for terminition. I have been told by my team leader and HR that this is none of my business and to "sit down and pay attention to your own work." Another co-worker and I have documented proof, but no one wants to acknowledge it. Each of us have our own customers and many of them have said specifically they do not want her even to touch their forms.

And as if that weren't bad enough, she has no sense of manners. She has sinus issues and snorts all day long. Ok, I know some people can't help it and yeah, I can probably let that slide. She also talks on the phone...all...day...long. Literally, hours. These are personal calls. Calls to her mother, sisters, sons, friends from church. I know everything there is to know about who did what to whom, who isn't paying child support, who is cheating on their husband...Again, this has been pointed out by not only me, but many other co-workers and again, nothing is done. Supposedly, she has been talked to in 1 on 1 meetings with the team leader, sent emails and also "reminded" in group meetings to limit her personal phone calls. After such meetings, she gets on the phone and complains to every family member she can call about how unfair it is that she has been pointed out unfairly.

Then there is of course the fact she takes her teeth out to clean them while sitting at her desk. She also uses a fork to brush her hair as well as talks with her mouth full of food, even if she's on the phone with customers! She also listens to her radio (w/ headphones on) but has the volume up loud enough for everyone to hear anyway. And she makes these noises that honestly sound as though she's about to have a sexual experience. Most days I feel like I'm working in the porno industry.

She says that if you were to come to her and ask her to stop something, she will. However, whenever someone has, she blows up and pitches a huge fit. One day she came to my desk and was very upset because I asked her not to do something that was not procedural. I said it kindly and have witnesses. She stood over me (I was sitting in my chair) and yelled at the top of her voice at me. She and another co-worker got into a shouting match with each other and the Manager of the entire department had to come down and break them apart. Again, nothing is done. I was reprimanded for asking her not to do something against procedures.

I love my job, really I do! But working with her is taking its toll. When she isn't here, the entire mood of the department changes. She is a joke to everyone. Even my team leader has called her lazy in our 1 on 1 sessions. HR refuses to do anything. Management refuses to do anything. What can I do? Just grin and bear it?

I'm not sure what you can do if your managers are uninterested in dealing with it, and she herself yells at people when confronted.

Your real issue here is less about her and more about having management that won't address an obvious problem. It sounds like they've made a decision -- for whatever reason -- to live with it. They've also told you clearly that they don't want to hear from you anymore about it.

I don't know why they've made that decision. Most likely, they're wimps who don't like having awkward or unpleasant conversations with people. Or, it could be that they don't really care about having procedures followed. Or they do care but they're addressing it with her privately and aren't going to share that with you. Or maybe you work for a company that requires reams of paperwork to be assembled over many months before someone can be fired, and they're in the process of doing that.

On the issues of her personal habits, as opposed to her work, it could be that no one has presented this to your manager in just the right way. Framed in a certain way, it could sound petty. It could be more effective to explain that her constant personal phone calls make it hard for you to concentrate on your own work and ask if you or she could be moved to a different area. (You might get her moved and/or your manager might take the info about her phone habits more seriously because you made it impersonal.)

But overall, it seems like your managers, for whatever reason, have heard your complaints and told you to stop raising them. That's the reality you've got to accept.

And you know, you're often going to end up working with people who annoy the hell out of you. It's just the reality of having a job, most of the time. You can keep looking for ways to be direct with her about what she's doing that bothers you, and maybe trying to get your coworkers to weigh in too, but this woman really doesn't sound particularly open to feedback or personal change. Ultimately, you probably have to resign yourself to living with this, as long as you and she are both employed there.

But really, the best way to handle this might be to see her behavior as amusing instead of infuriating. You have someone brushing her hair with a fork and cleaning her false teeth at her desk, for god's sake -- are you really not entertained by this?

As I've mentioned before, my sister always advises me, when visiting annoying relatives, to pretend to be one of the many long-suffering characters in Jane Austen novels who have to be pleasant to and patient with irritating relations. It's remarkably effective; it reframes things in a much more amusing (and bearable) context. If you're not a Jane Austen fan, pretend you're on a sitcom. This advice is good for all areas of life.

Good luck.

old schedule won't work for new job

A reader writes:

I was promoted last week to a lead. I will be relocating to another store shortly in 1 week within the same company to work in this new role.

I am enrolled at a community college and notified my manager of it. She had no problem and took me off the schedule for Mondays. I have only two classes on Monday and I can work every day even weekends. Nobody in the interview process asked me about school or other jobs. It didn't seem like a huge deal because I already had that schedule with my current boss.

My new store manager was told today that I have requested Mondays off for college. She was mad and told me that she would be contacting the district manager to see what will happen, or what she should do. She told me that I need to have open availability and that the district manager will be mad. I might just stay at my store and they will take back the position that I got. My pay has changed and I am ready for the move and don't know what to do. Help!

Unfortunately, you should have mentioned it during the interview process. The people interviewing you probably assumed you were available during normal business hours and that you would mention it if you needed a different arrangement.

It sounds like you assumed that since it was the same company, knowledge of the arrangement would be passed along and it would be fine. I'm not beating you up for that -- I know that people are often kind of mystified about what they do and don't need to raise in these situations. But for the future, err on the side of raising anything at all that's non-traditional, because you can't assume they do know or that something that was fine in one area of the company will also be fine in another.

As for what to do now: It doesn't sound like your new manager necessarily objects to this schedule, but instead that she's concerned the district manager won't like it, probably because it hasn't been done before. Plenty of things can be approved when they make sense, even if they haven't been done before, as long as you make a rational case for them.

So the best thing to do is to explain how it worked in your other position, how you think it'll work in this one, and what you're willing to do to make sure things go smoothly.

However, it's possible that after it's discussed, they'll tell you that it's just not workable in this new role. If that happens, you would need to decide whether you want to turn down the new job, or drop the classes so that you can accept it. But the most important thing is to discuss it candidly now and figure out if it can work for all sides. Good luck!

employer time vs. candidate time - which time zone do you live in?

A reader writes:

Last week I received an email from a prospective employer asking me if their pay range was OK with me and if I was still interested. The pay is lower than what I noted or "desired" on my application. I replied back saying that I was still very interested in the position and that I was looking forward to speaking with them in person. That was last Thursday and I haven't heard from them. Is it too soon to expect them to call me for an interview? Did I say something wrong? Should I send them another email?

P.S. Their max yearly pay is about 20% less than what I used to earn but I'm changing industries (from advertising to non-profit) and living in a city where the cost of living is much less expensive - so I think it evens out. I explained my desire to change industries in my cover letter - I'm going from an ad agency to a museum, I hope.

That was Thursday, and this is Monday. That means that only two business days have gone by.

In the last two business days, I haven't even glanced at most of the applications that have landed on my desk. I haven't even thought about glancing at them yet. I'd like to -- but, like most hiring managers, I've got a bunch of other things clamoring for my attention. I am someone who generally moves really fast in the hiring process, but even for me, two days is nothing.

I know that when you're job searching, time feels like it moves incredibly slowly. And then you get contacted by someone, and time starts moving even more slowly while you wait for the next step. Why haven't they responded yet? What does it mean? What could they be doing all this time? For the love of god, WHAT IS GOING ON?

I know.

But you must chill out.

The only way to preserve your sanity in this situation is to make a note to yourself to check in with them in a week and then put it out of your mind until then. If they call you before then, great, it's a bonus. But you will only drive yourself crazy otherwise.

I know there's a dating analogy in here somewhere, but I'm too tired to find it.

Breathe, relax, put it out of your mind.

should you include retail work on your professional resume?

A reader writes:

I just moved to a different state. My husband got a job, so I had to leave mine and move with him. I have had a heck of a time finding work here. I took a retail position to help with bills until I could find an accounting position. It's been three months, and I have yet to find an accounting job. I'm afraid that my three month lapse on my resume looks bad. Should I list my retail job, so that employers can at least see that I have been working? Should I keep it off my resume? I've been given advice both ways: put it on--it shows you're working and humble to take a position lower than your career tier, leave it off--it has nothing to do with your accounting profession and it shows you're desperate for a job. What do you suggest?

This is one of those questions where reasonable people will reach different conclusions. I don't know that there's one right answer, because it depends so much on the person reviewing your resume.

I'm one who thinks that you should leave it off, because it isn't part of bolstering your value in the industry you're seeking work in. A resume isn't meant to be an exhaustive accounting of every job you've ever held; it's a marketing document. If the interviewer asks what you did for that three-month period, by all means, explain -- but I don't think it adds value to your resume.

Also, three months out of work is nothing these days. Any sensible hiring manager won't blink an eye.

Anyone want to disagree?

you're welcome

A reader writes:

My partner and I have just moved countries, which has required me to begin looking for a new job. In my quest, I have been voraciously reading your blog and I am so thankful that such a wealth of helpful information exists in one place. Every single topic is so useful and insightful and I'm excited to put my new found knowledge to the test.

This email is just a short note to say a deeply sincere "Thank You" for producing this. It has made such a difference for me, and I'm sure for the many others who also read your blog. I am recommending it to all my friends and am so appreciative for the difference that your efforts are making in people's lives.

I don't normally post notes like this, but I'm in the mood for some appreciation, so here it is. Thank YOU for writing and saying this; it really means a lot to me to hear. And thank you to the rest of you who have from time to time said similar things. It's why I'm here.