how should employers respond to parents job-searching for their kids?

In response to a recent post on parents who job-search on their kids' behalf, one anonymous commenter left this question:

I am hiring - albeit only summer positions for teens - but have had several responses from parents on their kids behalf. I don't know how to respond. I want to contact the parent and ask them to let their kids apply, but now I am asking if this is more acceptable today when the kids are first looking for work. For young healthy teens, I don't think it's ever appropriate for a parent to find a job for their child.

I beg you, do not indulge these parents in this practice.

I recommend politely telling the parent that if the kid is interested, she should apply herself. If the parent pushes, add that you need to deal with candidates directly. Period. Do not waver.

After all, you want to be evaluating the candidate not just in the interview, but in everything throughout the hiring process -- email correspondence, how quickly a candidate responds to a contact, how well they follow application directions, etc. -- and it's not the parent you want to be evaluating.

And if the kid can't apply for a job on her own, how are you to assume she can handle the responsibility of the job itself?

There is an appropriate role for parents in helping teenage job-seekers -- but it's behind the scenes, preparing them for what to expect in an interview, explaining how a typical hiring process work, and (if they're like my mother was) pushing them to get up off the couch and go get a damn job to begin with.

a day of phone interviews - experience it for yourself!

Today I did a slew of phone interviews for an open position and thought you guys might find it interesting to peek into the hiring process from the employer's side. This is pretty typical of how a day of phone interviews go.

The position I'm hiring for is an entry-level job, doing administrative work that isn't the most glamorous but which requires a high level of attention to detail and organization. It doesn't require related experience, although that's helpful; more important are "soft skills" like meticulousness and work ethic.

1. The first guy doesn't seem to know what the job entails, despite the job description being easily accessible online. (These were scheduled phone interviews, so he had time to prepare -- just didn't.) He's a "no."

2. The second candidate is promising, but when I tell him how quickly we're moving to fill the position, he mentions that he is in the running for other positions and not sure how fast they're moving (and this is a low-paying, entry-level job, so it's unsurprising that he'd prefer something else if he can get it). I explain that the reason we're moving so quickly is that we want someone hired while the previous person who filled the position is still there, so she can train the new person. If we hire him and then he takes a better offer a few weeks later, we'd be stuck without the predecessor around to train the next person. He's honest enough to say he'd be worried that would happen, and we agree that he'll withdraw his candidacy for this job but that I'll contact him in the future if I have something that might be a better fit. And I will -- he showed integrity by being honest and looking out for our welfare, not just his own.

3. This candidate is promising. Clear, to-the-point answers, able to describe in a compelling and intelligent way why this admittedly unglamorous job appeals to her, and talks about other detail-oriented work that she's done well at.

Also, one thing that's notable about interviewing for entry-level jobs is how few candidates have any questions of their own to ask. This doesn't surprise me too much -- knowing what questions you should ask often comes from experience in the workplace, and most of these candidates don't have a ton of workplace experience. But when someone does have good questions (meaning not just "what are the hours?"), it stands out. This candidate asks insightful questions about the work and what we're looking for and generally seems genuinely thoughtful.

I schedule her for an in-person interview.

4. Things start well, but it turns out that she isn't available until about a month after I need someone to start, so we abort the conversation.

5. Candidate #5 impresses me right away with clear, succinct answers about why she's interested in the position and her understanding of what it entails. But when I ask her what kind of feedback she's received at jobs in the past, she tells me that doesn't work well independently and prefers to be part of a group and that she's been told she needs to socialize less on the job. My heart breaks slightly.

6. Candidate #6 is overqualified for the job (has a law degree, among other overqualifications), but he convincingly explains why he wants the job anyway. Often with overqualified candidates, my concern is that they're deluding themselves about what the job really entails, but this guy speaks in clear and accurate terms about the work he'd be doing; there are no blinders on there, and he addresses my concerns head-on. I'm moving him on to an interview.

7. Candidate #7 has a decent amount of relevant experience, but his phone manner is casual to the point of being unprofessional, which alarms me. This is an entry-level job so it's not automatically prohibitive, as it would be with a higher level job, but it's a big enough strike against him that he'll be a back-up candidate, only interviewed if none of the other candidates work out.

So there you have it -- seven phone interviews. Anything surprising here, or is this pretty much what anyone would figure it would be like?

what kind of writing sample do employers want to see?

A reader writes:

I've got a question about something you've touched on in some of your posts, but never really talked about at length. Writing samples. When a job listing requests that you send in a writing sample along with your resume and cover letter, but doesn't specify a topic or style of writing, what are you supposed to write about? I'm curious because I've just come upon an ad for a position that I might otherwise have applied for, but they requested a writing sample and I have no idea what to send them.

Things not to send them: A 20-page paper from a college class. Something you wrote but that was heavily edited by someone else, until it no longer reflects your own writing. Blog posts featuring highly inappropriate personal details.

Ideally, you're using a writing sample that you already have, rather than writing something fresh (unless they specifically assign you something to write about). For instance, I used to use old articles I'd written; op-eds, if you've ever written one, are perfect for this. But if you don't have anything already existing, I'd create something specifically for your job search (which you can use with many different employers).

Of course, the ideal writing sample varies by job. If you're applying for a PR job, send a sample press release. If you're applying for a legal job, they want to see an excerpt of a legal brief or something similar. But if the type of writing you should send isn't obvious, something in the style of an op-ed or a case study is good (again, even if you need to write it specifically for this use). But in all cases, what's most important is that it be clear and concise and showcase your ability to write well.

And while it's great if you can use a sample directly related to the job, quality matters more. Pick an unrelated, stronger sample over a related but weaker sample.

And whatever you do, don't overwhelm them with a massive tome. In most fields, employers are looking for something around 2-5 pages (although some fields, like law, wanted slightly longer ones). It's fine to send just an excerpt from something longer.

Good luck!

should I call out an HR person for lying to me?

A reader writes:

I recently applied for a city government communications position for which I was perfectly qualified. They asked me last minute to fly out for a four-person panel interview and even went as far as rearranging the panel date so that I could make it, even after I suggested an initial Skype interview at their original time to ensure neither of us wasted time if I was not a proper fit. All in all, I spent hundreds of dollars out of pocket to fly there last minute, rearranged my professional schedule, took a vacation day and completed an at-home lengthy written exam, in addition to a 45-minute writing sample on-site before the grueling interview process (in which one of the consultant from another city who was helping guide them on hiring this new position kept yawning, looking away and even left the room in the middle of the interview for several minutes).

When all was said and done, I had to follow up multiple times over the span of weeks (they kept saying the decision was being delayed) before finally being told "we decided to go with someone who is already in a similar city government position." That is fine and I gracefully understood that... at least until I found out who they hired. They hired someone who I use to work with at a previous company and even helped train for the position they currently hold. Since I previously worked in that role, I know for a fact it is not a city government role and that I definitely have more qualified experience, having currently worked with over 30 different city government communities simultaneously. So not only did the company I interview with lie to me as to why I was rejected, they hired someone who in my opinion (from personally knowing the person they hired) is not qualified for the position at all.

Should I say something to the HR person who lied to me? I want to maintain a professional attitude and take rejection with poise but really feel unethical about not calling them out on a lie.

What do you get out of saying something? It might make you feel better to say something, but it definitely won't help you maintain relationships with anyone there. 

Moreover, and maybe more importantly, you don't actually know that the HR person lied. For all we know, they planned to hire a different candidate, one who did already work in a similar position, but that person fell through for one reason or another, and then they ended up going with the person you know. Or the HR person just had her information wrong, but it wasn't an intentional lie. 

Or maybe you're right and she did lie to you, presumably because she thought it would make the rejection go down more easily. That's misguided, for sure, and kind of lame, but there's nothing unethical about just shaking your head and moving on.

I get the sense that what you're actually frustrated about is that you put all that time and even money into going through their hiring process, and they rejected you in favor of someone who you think is far less qualified than you. And maybe she is. And yes, that's frustrating. But you have to remember that they hired her over you for a reason. And sure, maybe that reason is something shady (like she's friends with someone involved in the decision, or whatever), but it's also likely that the reason is legitimate -- that you had a different idea of what they wanted for the role than they had, or she has strengths you don't know about or aren't acknowledging, or that you're overlooking a significant weakness of your own for the role, or that you were a bad cultural fit and she was a great one. Who knows? This is why guessing games about why you didn't get a job and someone else did are fruitless: Because you're always left with the fact that, no matter how much you disagree, the employer, who generally knows the needs of the job better than you do, made the decision that they felt was in their best interests.

My advice is to move on -- and remember, the job you really want is the one that's excited to get you.

my mom is embarrassing me with my boss

A reader writes:

My mother and my boss are casual email acquaintances. They've also met in person, and my boss has given her some contract work over the last few months I've been here. So they have a relationship that is not-friendly but not quite professional either. I don't mind that he gives her work, because she's job-seeking and could use the cash, and he's a laid-back guy who is willing to help my family any way he can. That's not my issue at all.

My birthday was on Saturday of last week (the 29th). Today, I went into my mother's email at her request to find something for her while she was away from home. I got what she needed, and then happened to notice a gmail snippet between her and my boss (you can see the beginnings of conversations in gmail without opening the actual email) in which she actually REMINDED HIM that my birthday was on Saturday. I must confess, I opened the email at that point, because it concerned me. 

His reply was short but cordial ("I know, I'm taking her to lunch next week."), and he hasn't mentioned anything to me, but GOOD LORD. I am really embarassed, because I feel like this made me look entirely unprofessional and I think my mother overstepped her boundaries here. I asked her to PLEASE not do that again (and yes, I told her I read the email and she wasn't upset about that), but I'm wondering, should I apologize to my boss for my mother putting him in what seemed to be a "aren't you going to remember my baby's special day" position?

Please advise - I am TRULY embarassed over this one!

Don't freak out too much. As long as you're you're professional and mature, your boss is going to be smart enough to separate you from your mom. But if it will give you peace of mind, you can tell him you were mortified when you found out about this; he'll tell you not to worry, and then if your mom does do anything like this again, he'll have it in his head that you are Not On Board With It.

But you also need to sit down with your mother and have a serious talk about professional boundaries. Ask her to handle her relationship with her boss as if he doesn't know you. No references to you, zero. (This is actually slightly overkill, but since she's already overstepped the boundaries once -- that you know of -- it's not unreasonable.)

Now, this would work on some mothers and wouldn't work at all on others. If your mother doesn't take you seriously, I'm not sure what else you can do, short of threatening to call her boss at her next job and ask him/her to remind your mom to take her calcium supplements or something.

can I ask my CEO to fund my side business?

A reader writes:

I work in an online marketing company. It is a small startup company and it feels like a family. The partners, CEO, and managers are great. I came up with a business idea that will be in a market that is totally different than the company. I want to pursue this on the side and it won't interfere with my work at the company.

Would it be a bad idea if I pitch it to the CEO to try to get some funding for my side business? I just don't want people to think that I don't like working there or am thinking about leaving. It seems like a risky move but the CEO is so well connected that it is tempting to pitch it to him. 

First let me say that, as always, my advice here is based just on the facts you've given me. You may know things about your relationships and office culture that should direct you differently. That said, I think it's a bad idea, for a couple of reasons:

1. You'll be putting your CEO in a really awkward position. This isn't asking someone to buy your kid's cookies for a school fundraiser; it's asking for substantial sums of money. I would be very uncomfortable with an employee asking me that. And I think it's highly unlikely that he'd say yes, since doing so would impact his primary relationship with you (making him your investor, not just your boss), and possibly even pose a conflict of interest. He needs to be able to manage you as your boss, not as someone with a financial stake in an unrelated side project of yours.

Of course he can just say no, but then you're going to be the guy who had the poor judgment to think this was a good idea.

2. The start-ups I've known have required so much focus and commitment from their employees that it's hard for me to think you could start your own side business without cutting into what's expected, or without at least raising that concern. They're going to assume that at a minimum, your focus will be split.

They're going to think this anyway, even without you hitting up the CEO -- but by pitching him for funding, you'll confirm that you are indeed going to be bringing it in the office.

I'm curious what others think though. Anyone ever done this successfully or think it's a good idea?

should my boss proactively email a prospective employer to recommend me?

A reader writes:

I'm applying for a job in research at a big university, and a career coach gave me the following advice: in addition to submitting my resume and cover letter through the online system, I should also have my current boss (principle investigator) email the hiring manager with a short and sweet "hey, my assistant applied for the position of research assistant, she's very capable and skilled, etc. let me know if you have questions." He said to cc the lead research scientist on this as well (who does hold sway in the hiring process-it's his lab, after all). 

My boss said she'd be happy to do that, but expressed hesitation at emailing someone she doesn't know with information about someone they don't know. Should we do it, or is it just another annoyance to the hiring manager and I should let me resume and c.l. speak for themselves? Are there rules for this sort of thing in higher ed hiring vs. the business world?

It's absolutely worth doing if the email is going to really rave about you. If it's going to sound generic or tepid (which hopefully you can figure out from your relationship with your boss and her personality), skip it.  

I've done this for a small number of people before -- employees who I thought were absolutely amazing -- and as far as I know, each time I did it, they ended up getting an interview. 

But I've also been on the receiving end of this where the boss's letter just wasn't that enthusiastic -- reading more like a generic letter of reference that the boss had written as a favor. Those don't work. In order for it to be successful, the note has to give the reader the sense that the boss considers you truly above and beyond, that she feels she's doing the employer a favor by tipping them off to you. Every boss is searching for rock stars -- if the letter conveys that that's who you are, any smart hiring manager is going to be excited to take a longer look at you.

Which means that your boss needs to (a) really feel that way about you and (b) be capable of conveying that in an email. If she considers you average or the letter sounds like she does, it doesn't really get you anywhere ... but it's also still not rude for her to reach out on your behalf, so she shouldn't hesitate on that account.

Of course, one of the reasons it works is that so few people do it, so it stands out. If everyone learns this secret and starts doing it, it'll probably dilute the impact.