where are they now: update #18 - uncomfortable stalking employers

Remember the reader who was frustrated that people kept advising her to aggressively call, call, call any employer she was interested in? I didn't really have advice for her other than to explain why her instincts were exactly right and in fact people who advise job-seekers to behave like stalkers are doing them a disservice. Here's her update.

I didn't get a lot of chance to practice what you've been preaching... the job market is still awful. Resumes and applications went out and there wasn't much response. I figured I was doomed, but set about to using the unemployed time and savings to finish my graduate work.

Then in October, I heard back from a shot-in-the-dark application I'd filled out for $LARGE_AWESOME_WEBSITE earlier in the summer. I jumped at the interview, and it rocked. I got them, they got me, it was a little interview of serious awesome. It's in the next big city over, so it took a couple of hours to get there and back. Upon getting home, I sat down at my computer to check email and send out the thank you to my interviewers because I was bound and determined to get that job, and was planning in my head when to re-contact after that. No sooner had I sat down when an email came in from one of my interviewers! They were VERY interested, and he wanted to do a little follow up, which we did the next day. The day after that came the job offer, with the official offer letter coming a week later.

I'm currently on a four-month gig in what I can only describe as my dream job: the job I've wanted since I went back to school almost 10 years ago and really never ever thought I'd find. My boss and his boss adore me (and they are awesome to work for), and the work I'm doing is exactly what I want and what I've been training for. And they're making noises that they want to keep me permanent once my contract is over, as well as make sure I have the time to complete my graduate work at the same time. I could not ask for anything better!!

Your site has been so helpful and has so much good advice, thank you for this great resource!

where are they now: update #17 - my manager is complaining about me online

Remember the reader whose manager was complaining about her on Facebook? Here's her update.

I continued working at that location for a couple more weeks, keeping my mouth shut and doing all that was asked of me and more. My supervisors never once called me back about the situation, my boss never said anything to me about the situation, but she continued to talk about me to customers and online, I'm assuming she didn't realize I knew everything that was going on.

I got a second job and was working between the two when finally I realized nothing was going to be done about the situation so I quit. My supervisors then called me and asked me not to quit, they needed me, and they would talk to my boss about the situation. We set up a meeting time for all of us to meet and talk things out. I went to that meeting, listened to what they had to offer, then they brought my boss into the room and showed her the stuff I had printed off the internet that she had said about me on Facebook, and asked her to explain herself. She said she shouldn't have to explain herself, it's her freedom of speech. They then told her this could qualify as work place harassment and told her she could be terminated. She then retaliated saying that if I didn't quit she was going to because she was sick of that place anyways. They asked me not to return for work the following week. My boss had been the manager of that branch for 9+ years, so I can understand how they would want to keep her rather than I who had only been there for 3 years.

I still don't agree with everything that happened there. But I work full time at my new job, they are willing to work around my school schedule, and I love my bosses! 

where are they now: update #16 - manager wants to be my best friend

Remember the reader whose manager wanted to be her best friend and wouldn't take no for an answer? Here's her update.

I am very happy to report that I found a new job and started a few months ago. I am very happy in my current position and work for a great manager. I tried very hard to fix things up with my old manager but things didn't work out.

For instance, I took one day off to interview for my new job and my old manager (the one who was my friend) demanded to know what I am doing on my day off. She got really mad when I refuse to tell her what I was doing on my day off. When I finally know for sure that I got this new job, I gave plenty of notice (one month) and she took it very personally. She made my last month at that company hell. But I bit my bullet, stay professional and got through that. Because of that, every other manager, including her manager had told me that, I am welcome to come back and work for them anytime.

Because I work in a very specific field, I tried very hard not to burn the bridge when I left. During my exit interview with HR, I didn't tell them that I was leaving the job for her but rather to gain better opportunities at my new job which is partly true. Do you think that was right thing to do?

Also when I left, she told all my co-workers that they can't hang out with me even on the weekends, which everyone in my old team saw it as very unprofessional. Needless to say they still keep in contact with me regardless of her demands.

That is all I have to report for now. Thank you so much for your help and everybody who commented on my post! Have a happy holiday.

where are they now: update #15 - call center misery

Remember the reader who was miserable in her job at a call center? Here's her update.

I no longer work at the call center. I was able to get my numbers up and pass the probationary period. However, later in the summer my numbers started to suffer again. There was a week were I wasn't feeling well and spent a lot of time away from my desk and went home early one day. That week messed up my numbers for the whole month. My manager had me convinced that I was about to be walked out and fired because of this one metric being low. My other metrics were all well above average. My co-workers were telling me not to worry that my manager was a jerk and "just like that" and that I wouldn't be fired. To be sure, there was one day where I was honored at a team meeting for meeting all of my numbers and having high QA scores and the very next day another meeting with my manager about how poorly I was doing. He had me very worried for my job and I'm really not a worrier. The required time off continued through the summer, and even increased. 

Staffing was done by the "traffic" department, who looked at call volume and staffing and approved time off, etc. (not by my manager). I worked 11:30 am to 8pm Tuesday through Saturday. I got a notice in my mailbox that starting in October, my Saturday hours would change so that I would work until 10pm. This was because I was a "closer" on Saturdays and for the holiday season we would be open later. I was pretty ticked off about this as I had never been told that they could change my schedule on a whim, or that I was a Saturday closer, and I wasn't too happy to be spending my Saturday nights walking across dark and icy parking lots all winter.

Luckily I found a different job before the late Saturday nights started. It's not on the phones, it pays slightly more, has better hours, and I have my own desk. The issue with that (there's always an issue with me! I can never be happy!) is that it is temp-to-hire. I was desperate to get out of the call center, and felt I was about to be fired any day, so I took this one. This job was supposed to be temp for 90 days and then hired, and I've hit that, and the latest update as to when I might get hired on is "We don't know." It's a decent company, but the work is a bit boring, and I'm very over-qualified for it, so I've decided to start looking again.

As for my old company, they filed for bankruptcy right before I left. They were several hundred million dollars in debt. The parent company walked away, they couldn't even sell. The company is now owned by the large banks that hold the majority of their debt.

where are they now: update #14 - the aspiring librarian who didn't want to give up her dream

Remember the aspiring librarian who was wondering if she'd ever get a job in her field? Here's her update:

I'm still on the hunt for a library or archives job, but I've had a few promising interviews since my question was posted. I found the suggestions from everyone very helpful, and the encouragement from several comments gave me renewed hope about my search. I know it might take me a while, but I think I will eventually find employment in my field. I'm planning to keep looking until I do, and in the meantime, I've found some pretty fun part-time jobs.

Thank you for posting my question. It really helped me out!

where are they now: update #13 - the coworker who wets his pants

I'm quite sure you remember the letter from the reader whose coworker was chronically wetting his pants. Here's her update.

He's still doing it. Nothing has been done. The IT manager refuses to confront him about his hygiene. Urine-stained pants remain in effect. I think I have just gotten used to the smell. His jacket is another story. Never mind that he NEVER washes it. When it rains (here in Seattle, that's pretty frequent), it stinks to HIGH HEAVEN of mold and mildew and must.

On top of all this, my other co-worker has raging prejudices about age and frequently remarks about "old people". She also uses a stereotypical accent when speaking to Hispanic coworkers. Lovely bunch of people I work with, what?

God help me. If it weren't for this economy, I would be employed elsewhere, promptly after reporting all the BS that goes on at this company. Honestly though, I have no idea to whom I would report this work environment.

where are they now: update #12 - lazy doctor compromising patients' care

Remember the pediatrician with the lazy coworker who was compromising patients' care? Here's her update.

Here's what happened regarding my lazy coworker: 

I was taking a few days off to study for the board exam. I received a call one morning from a resident who had questions about the management of a patient who was admitted overnight. The same faculty physician was on-call and as usual, the resident had not been able to reach him. The resident and I discussed a plan for the patient. I then told the resident I would not be in the hospital that day, but would find an attending physician with whom he could coordinate care for the remainder of the day. I called our outpatient clinic and asked one of the nurses to have our division chief call me and explained why. I never received a call back from him. After a couple of hours, I started worrying about the situation and went up to the hospital. The following day I asked the nurse whether she conveyed the message and she swore she did. So I asked our division chief why he never called me and he denied he was ever given the message. I know the question everyone will have is why didn't I get the nurse and the division chief in one room and ask who was telling the truth, but I knew the only outcome would be that they would each be mad at me. I then told the division chief that I no longer felt safe accepting responsibility for all the inpatients without a faculty member for backup and I would no longer accept any calls when I was not on call. I followed this statement up with an e-mail to our entire division.

The university has recently instituted a system called "Illumine," which is modeled after a similar system at Vanderbilt. Anyone with a password for the computer system can file a complaint about physician misconduct. The administrators of the system will obviously have knowledge of who filed the complaint. The subject of the complaint is not advised who filed the report, though. There is a step-wise discipline process. I knew that this program would be instituted before I left the institution. I have encouraged people to use this system to report any further difficulties they have with this particular faculty member, and I have been advised that "Illumine" is now up and running. It remains to be seen if anyone actually follows through.

I have finished my training and moved to another state. I've had a little time to distance myself from the situation and to evaluate it with less emotion and more objectivity. Actually, with the anger and emotion mostly removed, I see even more clearly how egregious the irresponsibility was of several people involved in this situation. I predict that nothing will happen to this faculty member and he will eventually retire, have a big party, and a nice pension. The lesson I've taken from it is that passivity is never acceptable. The passivity of those above me in the chain of command is what has enabled this person to continue with the same modus operandi over decades. (AAM note: Emphasis mine.) I really want to thank you for posting my question and I want to thank everyone who took the time to write great suggestions and comments.

where are they now: update #11 - interviewing again after an unsuccessful interview

Remember the reader who was interviewing again for a job he'd earlier been turned down for? Here's his update.

I submitted a question to you back in July regarding interviewing a second time after a prior unsuccessful interview with the same employer. Your advice was great, but as I'd mentioned in the comments section, I ultimately did not get the job. However, the interview was successful in the sense that I improved my presentation from the prior interview. It was also good because it caused me to realize that I'm probably not a good fit for that employer at this point in my career. It may be just as well, because like many county governments ours is having major revenue problems and they have done several layoffs.

Another thing that has worked out for me is that the traditional conversational-style interviews I've had since then have seemed a lot less intimidating, and I think that being nervous is less of a problem for me now. I am still looking for a job but I feel like my interviewing skills have continued to improve, and I have an interview in a couple of days that I have a good feeling about.

I first started reading AAM back in 2008 and find it invaluable. I can't tell you how many times I've asked some of the questions you have recommended and been told "That's a great question." Happy Holidays!

where are they now: update #10 - the unreliable employee with a conflict of interest

Remember the manager who wasn't sure what to do about the low-performing employee who might have also been engaging in a conflict of interest on the side? Here's the update.

Well, we decided to reanalyze our development department as a whole, as the managers were lacking in management skills and we weren't making any money, so we did clear ship, and were able to dismiss her previous manager for a number of poor performance issues (including not generating revenue). We decided to eliminate an admin position too, and offered her a position that merged both some donor cultivation as well as database experience, which she considered a demotion, although it was the same duties with some admin involved, same pay. We stipulated that working from home would not be an option any longer, as she needed to be available 8-5 M-F. 

Of course, she could not accept a situation where she could not work from home (her reason being, her consultancy business would suffer and oh, how could we do that to her), and so she resigned, but not without trying to get me to empathise with her about the load of work her consultancy business, and that we should oblige her by allowing her 'some time away', and that we were making a big mistake by letting her go--yes, she was for real. And as far as I know, she's dwindled down to one client, as she reached out to us for some 'counsultancy work' to help with one of our events a few months ago. Needless to say, we instead hired someone else who is a stellar employee in every way.

Thanks for your advice and that of the posters - it helped me to remove the manager that allowed this to happen for so long, and put us in a much better position to take control of this employee.

where are they now: update #9 - the lazy boss

Remember the reader with the lazy boss who played video games all day? Here's his update.

Not a whole lot has changed with the executive's behavior but now there is another manager in between us so that makes it a little bit easier to deal with. I still see her with her feet up in the office playing solitaire for hours on end or I don't see her when she is on a two hour lunch. She still asks me to do inane tasks she claims not to know how to do, like dragging and dropping files on her desktop and standing at the printer to collect her printouts (the printer stores the documents and you have to enter a code to release it for printing.) I've just kind of tried to stop worrying about it and do my best to help other people in the company out so I don't get tarred with the same brush. Most people think 2011 will be her last year before retirement so I doubt there will be any strong efforts to improve her behavior.

where are they now: update #8 - coworker staring at my chest

Remember the woman whose coworker was constantly staring at her chest? Here's her update.

I took the direct approach. I went to his office, closed the door, and said, "I really don't know how to bring this up, but because I think you're someone who would rather have someone be honest and forthcoming, here it is: I've gotten the impression during our conversations that you seem to be somewhat distracted by my chest. I believe you don't mean to be offensive, and I certainly am not accusing you of sexual harassment, but I wanted you to be aware of my impression for the future."

He took it surprisingly well; he was obviously a bit embarrassed but as I suspected, he didn't really seem to know he was doing it. I talked to him later in the week and he actually seemed to be making a concerted effort to look me in the eye! Since then, he's been more aware of his eye contact issues and we've had no problems at all!

where are they now: update #7 - the highly inflammatory pantyhose question

Remember the question that caused the most contentious debate in the comments we've ever had?  Yes, the question about whether you have to wear pantyhose to an interview. I'm afraid to reopen this debate, but here's the OP's update.

I did not wear pantyhose to the interview. I didn't get an offer, but the hiring manager did tell me that I was an exceptional candidate, and wanted to forward my information to other offices that might be hiring. He told me he was quite certain I wouldn't be at my current job by the end of the year. I consider that a success!

where are they now: update #5 - the boss with inappropriate interview questions

Remember the reader whose boss asked job candidates about their marital status, children, and church? Here's her update.

I waited until well after the interview, when I was later asked to participate in another panel interview. Before the interview, I asked the VP for the list of questions, and the VP asked if I had any suggestions. I sent a follow-up email to him suggesting questions, but I also said in the email that it was difficult to come up with the wording for my questions because I didn't want to ask about sensitive topics for fear that it would make us biased in the selection process. I made it sound like it was more of an issue on my end, and he said, "Huh. I didn't know you couldn't ask stuff like that." The interviews went smoothly.

By the way, can you recommend resources for a non-HR person to learn about HR (without necessarily going back to school)? Thanks!

I've never worked in HR (management is different), but I'm sure someone here can help. Tell us in the comments what area of HR you're specifically interested in, and I bet someone will suggest something for you.

where are they now: update #3 - ostracized by boss after office burglary

Remember the reader who was treated horribly by his boss after being the only person present in the office during a burglary? Here's his update.

I'm happy to say that I quit on my own terms: first by going on FMLA for three months after a diagnosis of PTSD resulting from the robbery, to maintain my health insurance. After my twelve weeks, I resigned and served them with litigation the same day. They settled, unsurprisingly, for a large sum. I now have a new job in a very secure building, and paid off my college debt to boot. Happy ending I guess, if you don't count the countless hours I spent in therapy.

where are they now: update #2 - the coworker who sulked when our reader wouldn't date him

Remember the woman whose coworker behaved like a baby after she refused to go out with him, and even enlisted his office friends in pressuring her to date him? Here's her update.

IdiotBoy and his IdiotFriend were spoken to by our mutual manager. IdiotBoy seemed to cool down a bit and decided he would speak to me but not chat. He would not ask me what I had done at the weekend, but he would ask me if I was done with the reference materials for the Blenkinsop report, or whether I knew who was dealing with our account at the newspaper since our usual contact was on maternity, that kind of thing. Fine with me.

Sadly, his IdiotFriend could not accept this, and attempted to corner me in the ladies' toilets, where she said to me that she 'couldn't understand why you won't just date IdiotBoy'.

I, unfortunately, had been having a rather bad day and countered with, '*YOU* don't understand? I will tell you what *I* don't understand. I don't understand why you think my personal life is your business, and I don't understand why you think that nagging at me is going to get IdiotBoy into my pants. And by God, if I hear one more word about it, I am going to file a formal written complaint against the pair of you'.

Cue appearance of departmental manager from toilet cubicle in manner of pantomime Demon King, numerous meetings with HR, and termination of IdiotFriend. IdiotBoy was spared the axe as he apologised profusely to me, promised that he was not responsible for my being cornered and would have stopped Friend if he knew, so he received a final written warning about his conduct.

This was six months ago. I accepted a promotion in a new department, where my colleagues seem pleasant enough and unstalkerish.

I understand via the grapevine, though, that lessons remain to be learned by IdiotBoy's other friends. One of them apparently asked a female staff member at the Christmas party what she would do if he put his hands "there and there." She cheerfully told him that she would smack his face til his ears rang. He seems to have believed her.

where are they now: update #1 - the job-seeker with a dental problem

Thanks to all who are answering the call for updates to let us know how your situation turned out. If you haven't written in yet, we want to hear from you!

Here's the first one.

Remember woman back in July who wondered if her dental problem was scaring off employers? Here's her update:

After reading all your detailed answers to others, and submitting my own question about my angst at interviewing with a chunk o' front tooth missing, I've managed to do an apparently great interview (for once) and got myself hired! It's been two years of searching to get here, and I can only think that it's been your advice that's helped me be more confident and cool during the interviews.

It's not been just the how-to interviewing advice, but also the insights into how managers think that's been such a help. I know better what a manager is looking for, and how to answer questions that I used to approach from the wrong angle. You have my undying gratitude!

This is awesome to hear! Congratulations on your new job!

update: boss expects slippers offered to her

Just need to call your attention to this update left by the person whose boss treats her like she's on-call day and night. The update itself is longer (and you can read it in full here), but it contains this gem about her boss:

Upon arrival each day, she dumps her purse, laptop, and shoes with the receptionist, then expects this person to have the slippers she wears in the office ready, and to carry her possessions up the stairs to her office, like a dog.

I mean, this has crossed over to caricature and thus is almost awesome, if we want to judge on entertainment value.

I wonder if your boss has a boss though.

update from reader who asked about long hours and low pay to get experience

Remember those "where are they now" updates that we did late last year? Here's a new one.

You might remember this reader from back in June, when she wrote in to ask if she should take a job with really long hours and low pay in order to get experience. Complicating her decision was this: "I haven't had any success with my job search (the numbers are just depressing, so I'll spare you) and I would feel guilty, and somewhat desperate, if I turned down a resume-building job."

After her letter was published here, she and I had some further back-and-forth about the particular organization she was considering, nonprofit jobs in general, and her cover letter, which I thought was too generic (as most are). Here's her update:

After reading the thoughtful advice you and your readers provided, I ultimately turned down the job offer. I liked the idea of the work, but the long hours, low pay, and placement - downtown Boston - made the reality of the situation seem rather impossible.

I took a long, hard look at my resume and qualifications and decided to pursue careers in a very specific segment of non-profit work. I tailored my resume, rewrote my cover letter, and signed up for job board alerts dedicated to the field I had chosen. After receiving your advice, my applications started to get noticed by a wide variety of employers, and I found myself interviewing potential organizations! It was pretty exciting to be seeking an employer I meshed with rather than desperately applying to a slew of jobs that I only had the vaguest of interest and experience.

Narrowing my job search ended successfully this afternoon, as I received an offer for an entry-level position at my favorite organization. I'm so thrilled to have this opportunity, and amazed that I was able to land my "dream entry-level position" three months after graduation without previously building a strong network. The advice you offered, both privately and through your blog, was truly invaluable, as I doubt I would be embarking on my career this soon without it. Thank you for helping me transform from a "recent grad" to a "young professional"!

This is pretty awesomely inspirational, and a real testament to the power of a focused job search, a great cover letter, and resisting the unhealthy power dynamics that are so easy to fall into when job searching. Congratulations!

update about the coworker moonlighting as a hooker

Remember the person who wrote in last November to ask what do about her coworker who was working as a prostitute during business hours? Of course you do; everyone was clamoring for an update from her when I did those "where are they now" updates.

She just wrote in with an update, in a comment on a recent post:

I did follow your advice and I no longer do her work. I mean, she is still prostituting during working hours and in our restroom but I have nothing to do with it. Sooner or later she will get caught, but at least I won’t be involved in that. So once again, thank you very much!

I think we were all hoping for more details, preferably salacious ones, but hey, it's something.

where are they now: update #12 - when the boss owes you money

Remember the reader who was promised a stipend when she was interviewing for her internship, but never got the money she was promised? She wrote in asking how to ask her boss for the money she was owed.

http://askamanager.blogspot.com/2009/08/how-do-i-ask-my-boss-for-money-they-owe.html

Here's her update:

I took your advice and went to my manager and asked directly for the money. He (the EVP of the dept / Interim President) suggested we go back to the contract I had signed at the start of the internship, and when it turned out the transportation money wasn't included in the contract, he said that he couldn't pay the money. Needless to say, I was pretty frustrated - partly with myself for not insisting that the money be included in that contract, and partly with him for not relenting, when it seemed like such a small thing.

The good news is that the next week - the second week of August - I interviewed for two full time positions at two other environmental nonprofits, and happily received two offers! I started my new job the last week of August, and am thrilled with both the work and the organization.

I also recently found out that the organization where I interned has been going through some severe financial stress - they laid off another 10 or 15% of the staff of 20 people, including one of the SVPs, and are now renting out half of the office that serves as headquarters. Having heard that I have a hard time holding that $250 against my former manager.

Thanks again for your help - even though it didn't turn out how I wanted, it felt good to stand up for myself a little!