tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post7468715820624974040..comments2023-09-29T06:09:21.089-04:00Comments on Ask a Manager: my coworker is angry that I complained about her many personal callsAsk a Managerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05281942480230532899noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-47969096421388447032010-12-16T22:53:38.856-05:002010-12-16T22:53:38.856-05:00To the last poster....
No, I didn't enjoy &quo...To the last poster....<br />No, I didn't enjoy "banging my head against the wall for two years" and yes, I should have gone to the supervisor much earlier. But I just kept hoping and believing that at some point administration would realize and take care of the situation. It wasn't easy reporting negative information about a co-worker. In fact, I hated doing it. But I refused to give up a job I actually enjoy because of one person who doesn't know when to draw the line on personal yapping. Believe me, if any situation resembling this were to occur again, it would take much less time for me to seek a solution.Jeannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-31846238653094490252010-12-16T15:53:24.127-05:002010-12-16T15:53:24.127-05:00"To the "mind your own business" pe..."To the "mind your own business" people, your missing the point that the OP was distracted and having difficulty doing her own job. Loud personal phone calls are not comparable with quietly surfing facebook all day."<br /><br />Then you ask to be moved. Simple as that.<br /><br />The original poster complained to management. And then she should have asked to be moved or she should've let it go. Subsequently it's an issue between the colleague and the manager and is indeed none of her business. And she can't handle that, she can look for another job.<br /><br />I'm glad the poster is happier but frankly there's something that doesn't ring true here. I laugh at the idea of "months and months of aggravation, pent-up anger and frustration". Go to the manager, insist on being moved and if this doesn't happen, look for something else. Don't put up with it with two years. <br /><br />Some people enjoy banging their heads against a wall - no matter how many times they say ouch.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-5765082972938935702010-12-15T16:18:48.994-05:002010-12-15T16:18:48.994-05:00Personal cell phone calls do NOT belong in the off...Personal cell phone calls do NOT belong in the office - this is unprofessional. And what was wrong with the supervisor for allowing this situation to fester for two years? <br /><br />The OP of this thread was right to complain; it's not possible to "mind one's own business" when some childish co-worker insists on behaving in an EXTREMELY unprofessional way - in this case, making incessant personal phone calls on company time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-57074102934325205012010-12-10T22:26:10.522-05:002010-12-10T22:26:10.522-05:00I just wrote about being sensitive to sound/noise....I just wrote about being sensitive to sound/noise. I wanted to add, we all know people who talk loudly, whether it's due to being hard of hearing (too much loud music), poor cell phone connections, the desire to appear important to whomever may be listening, or whatever. I would have a hard time sitting next to someone who talked loudly on the phone, regardless of whether it was work-related or personal. Volume is volume.<br /><br />Again, congrats on the move and up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-10743076036925383182010-12-10T22:19:10.180-05:002010-12-10T22:19:10.180-05:00I'm going to take a different slant. Some peo...I'm going to take a different slant. Some people are just more sensitive to sound and noise than others. The office I currenlty work in is split--the majority of my coworkers are in cubes down a row of offices. While I sometimes feel a little isolated, I know I would go bonkers if I worked around the others because one has a radio on constantly. It would distract me to no end. At my former job, my cube was near the copier. Even the sound of this would really distract me and make it hard to concentrate. I think people should be able to speak up and ASK for things that will help them to work better. It's not a case of mind your own business, or even pointing fingers, but what can we do to create our own most productive work environments. It's different for everyone. A good manager will understand that, and will have to balance the needs of their whole team to find/create the best place possible for all members.<br />So glad to hear about the promotion and change of chairs!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-50411629085937059632010-12-09T03:33:49.363-05:002010-12-09T03:33:49.363-05:00I just want to weigh in on a couple aspects of thi...I just want to weigh in on a couple aspects of this --<br /><br />To the "mind your own business" people, your missing the point that the OP was distracted and having difficulty doing her own job. Loud personal phone calls are not comparable with quietly surfing facebook all day.<br /><br />Also, I just went from a job where I was one of the few people there who worked really hard, to a job where almost everyone works really hard. The boost in morale is unbelievable. It DOES make a huge difference!Sarah Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-12779051702691493502010-12-08T01:16:03.959-05:002010-12-08T01:16:03.959-05:00Having to deal with a nearby coworker chatting on ...Having to deal with a nearby coworker chatting on the phone all day long is frustrating - I have to spend all day listening to people chatting with other staff (people don't walk into offices anymore - they just stand in the doorway and talk so from my cubicle, I can hear just about everything).<br /><br />To the OP: stop worrying about how your coworker and her friends feel. Continue being professional and courteous. Unless any of them are in a position of power (which would suck), it kind of doesn't matter if they like you or not. So they think you're a snitch - so what?Cassienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-43457099139061442812010-12-07T22:25:37.105-05:002010-12-07T22:25:37.105-05:00I'm the OP who no longer could take the daily ...I'm the OP who no longer could take the daily distractions of personal phone calls from the co-worker who sits in a desk directly in front of me. Am I a busybody? Far from it.I couldn't care less what she does in her life, just as long as she doesn't force me to hear it. (and FYI..I tried cotton, earplugs and headphones....nothing worked, she can be THAT loud.)<br />I appreciate the advice and comments and am actually bouyed by those who have shared a similar situation and described exactly how I felt. Thanks to all.<br />Here's the update...my co-worker and I now are politely talking and her personal phone time has somewhat decreased. Overall, it helped the situation, and though,in retrospect I may have done it somewhat differently, I am very glad I finally decided to speak up. Recently I was told that I am being promoted and my seat is being changed. Hallelujah -- there is a God and a different manager who actually cares.Jeannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-27278045562738862042010-12-07T16:21:31.463-05:002010-12-07T16:21:31.463-05:00Anon @ 4:01: She isn't comparing herself to ev...Anon @ 4:01: She isn't comparing herself to everyone else. She's comparing herself to someone who has a similar job with similar pay.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-10444018269543440882010-12-07T16:11:01.768-05:002010-12-07T16:11:01.768-05:00Anon at 4:01, you are right about respect and all ...Anon at 4:01, you are right about respect and all that... but that still doesn't matter with a co-worker who is creating a distracting work environment. OP went and told her manager (as she should have) that there was a distraction to her work. And it was not dealt with. <br /><br />There's a big big big difference between having to hear about someone's personal business day in and day out and working with creative co-workers who may work in an unorthodox fashion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-91474965242925377442010-12-07T16:07:10.260-05:002010-12-07T16:07:10.260-05:00I'm with AAM (as per usual) on this issue. I&#...I'm with AAM (as per usual) on this issue. I'm certainly a "mind my own business" gal - it really doesn't matter to my job if people slack off as long as I'm recognized and their poor performance doesn't affect my job or my time at work. Clearly this is hindering the OP's ability to focus and work at her best. <br /><br />I find it hard to believe that (if we take the OP's word) this person could be such a high performer if she is truly taking up so much time with personal stuff. At my workplace there is an individual just like this; I get to hear her personal stories as she talks to her mother for hours each day. I find it more amusing than annoying, but it DOES affect her work performance. A good manager would deal with this, but my passive-aggressive manager just lets it slide and then complains later that X isn't getting stuff done. <br /><br />This isn't a case of a Sudoku game or a little online shopping or Facebook checking. This is very different, and was very mishandled.Lauranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-16109215205322221122010-12-07T16:01:59.842-05:002010-12-07T16:01:59.842-05:00(The anonymous from the 1st comment)
Some work re...(The anonymous from the 1st comment)<br /><br />Some work requires you to put your nose to the grindstone and get a task done. Creative work is harder to force. I can understand why you'd resent someone getting away with slacking off as a receptionist or bank teller, because she could be easily replaced. But in a job requiring creativity, the manager probably values the ability to innovate more than work ethic, and shouldn't have to justify it. <br /><br />Most offices have jobs of both types, so I think problems arise when an employee starts comparing herself to everyone else, even though their manager isn't holding them to the same standards.<br /><br />No one has to sit you down and explain to you that the founder/CEO of your company has accomplished a lot and deserves your respect. Why is it any different with the person in the next cubicle over? Respect every one of your coworkers by default and you will find it is a lot easier to get along with everyone, and be well liked yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-82352699282818427152010-12-07T15:43:30.646-05:002010-12-07T15:43:30.646-05:00To anon @2:08...yes, you do get paid to watch your...To anon @2:08...yes, you do get paid to watch your employees. As a manager it's your job to make sure your employees are doing their jobs and doing them well. <br /><br />If an employee is complaining that she's being distracted by the numerous personal calls going on 10 feet away and it has continued FOR TWO YEARS, that reflects poorly on the manager, unless he/she can make a real case for letting that behavior continue. A few personal calls are fine in my book, but when these calls are going on all day long and other people are so distracted they can't get their work done, there is no reason I can think of that would justify this. <br /><br />As managers we have the expectation that our employees know their boundaries, but unless we keep a lookout, a situation such as OP's can be brewing right under our noses without us knowing it. We can't be in all places at once. I'd rather an employee bring it to my attention than see her leave because her morale has taken a beating. <br /><br />If someone complains about another employee, I will either say, "The problem is being addressed," or, "Yes, she does come in 15 minutes late several times a week, but she contributes XYZ and stays much later than everyone else."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-80576141674198275152010-12-07T15:23:45.316-05:002010-12-07T15:23:45.316-05:00So poorly handled by the management. Instead of a...So poorly handled by the management. Instead of addressing the issue about disruptive behavior, looks like the manager took the heat off themselves placing the blame on the OP. Perhaps indirectly, but enough info was disclosed that this small minded coworker knew who it was. An appropriate measure would have been if the supervisor/manager made their own observations and then took action. When you work with high school minded people, they truly suck the life out of you, making an otherwise pleasant workplace one of hardship and unnecessary stress.Amewsing Mews and Viewshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17683958901268995293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-47594202935077503442010-12-07T15:22:07.061-05:002010-12-07T15:22:07.061-05:00To those who say "mind your own business,&quo...To those who say "mind your own business," how can the OP mind his/her own business when s/he hears her co-worker loudly say on a personal call, "Oh My God, my son just got over the flu in which he was constantly puking, and my mother is still in the hospital from her gallbladder surgery. And my brother and his wife are on the splits." The OP doesn't mean to eavesdrop, but it's kind of hard not to get the entire family tree and who-did-what-to-whom when the caller is allowing the entire office to hear the whole thing.<br /><br />I've worked in a cubicle-type office, and the woman next to mine just wouldn't leave it about her trips and family problems - and she was NOT on the phone! Granted she was sharing it with someone who apparently sounded like they cared, but I couldn't care less about her situation. My supervisor knew she was a problem, and I don't know if she ever said anything to her. Luckily, she left her desk a lot to go to other offices in the company so I didn't always have to put up with her nonsense chatter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-59205262314832446502010-12-07T14:44:07.040-05:002010-12-07T14:44:07.040-05:00Anonymous 2:08, the OP knows nothing was done (at ...Anonymous 2:08, the OP knows nothing was done (at least nothing that made an impact) because the problem continued for another two years.<br /><br />If the coworker is actually a great performer, then the manager needs to use this opportunity to fill the OP in -- by explaining that, so that she has a better understanding of the situation. It's unrealistic to say that she should just mind her own business; morale is real. So is the concept that a coworker like this -- or someone who APPEARS to be a slacker coworker -- can change the culture and the standards of performance that other people perceive.Ask a Managerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05281942480230532899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-44368853849218372582010-12-07T14:40:45.570-05:002010-12-07T14:40:45.570-05:00If the "mind your own business, suck it up an...If the "mind your own business, suck it up and deal" posters aren't just trolls, then they certainly wouldn't last long in my department. <br /><br />I don't mind you taking a little quiet break to clear your head. Far be it from me to tell my employees they can't read the sports page, take a quick call, or do a crossword when I do it from time to time myself. I mind when you're not getting your work done and when you start pissing off your neighbors (or me) to the point where it affects their (our) work. <br /><br />I've fired two people in my working lifetime (18 years) over personal calls. One had no sense of boundaries about what his coworkers overheard, to the point where neighboring coworkers were getting uncomfortable hearing his plans with his girlfriend for the evening. The other for some reason felt compelled to yell everything she said and shriek at the top of her lungs with laughter whenever she was on a personal call (2-3 times a day for 10-30 minutes a call), disrupting coworkers on BUSINESS calls in neighboring cubes. <br /><br />In both cases, I gave two clear and explicit warnings and chances to fix it before firing. In both cases, they challenged me for unemployment benefits and failed. So, the state agrees with me that you don't have the right to act like a 13-year-old girl all day at work if that's not what I'm paying you to do.<br /><br />Everyone else? They could manage their personal lives and get all their work done without slacking and without annoying me or their coworkers. If these comments are anything to go by, this is apparently harder to do than it sounds, and I should be grateful I have a group of employees who actually work as a team instead of as a bunch of individual selfish jerks.I've Fired People Over Thisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-31063236541055460762010-12-07T14:08:07.167-05:002010-12-07T14:08:07.167-05:00I take offense to the notion that the manager was ...I take offense to the notion that the manager was "bad" because this person ASS-U-MEs nothing was done. <br /><br />We had a similar situation happen in our office, with the notable exception of the offender being one of our top performers! They even out performed the "fink"(OP's word, not mine)according to our statistics.<br /><br />How does the OP know nothing was done? There could be a write up ten pages thick in the offender's file.<br /><br />When something is brought to my attention,I respond "Thank you, I will look into that" and leave it at that. I do not make it a habit of disciplining employees and then reporting back to their co-worker. It is none of the co-worker's business how another employee is disciplined. <br /><br />I've been in management for several years and one thing I continue to notice about these situations:<br /><br />1)The offender always suspects their closest neighbor or cube mate. Why? Because they are in a position to see each other most of the day. Regardless of who the whistle-blower may be, those in close proximity are often the suspect. <br /><br />2)More times than not, the whistle-blower is often just as guilty as the offender. By casting a light on someone else, they are free to fall in the shadows for a while. <br /><br />3)Results speak for themselves. Just because two people have the exact same job, doesn't mean they will put out the exact same results. True, I don't pay my employees to spend their whole day on the phone, but I also don't pay them to spy on their cube mates either. And my company doesn't pay me to walk around seeing who's on personal calls. <br /><br />The OP needs to worry about their own performance.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-7361505725874369732010-12-07T13:58:00.467-05:002010-12-07T13:58:00.467-05:00Oh Please.
Try "minding your own business&qu...Oh Please.<br /><br />Try "minding your own business" when you are sharing a 10' x 10' space with a woman who uses the phone in your office (she had no cell phone) to call her husband upwards of 5 times per day to tell him stuff like, "no honey, I didn't see your Facebook post today." <br /><br />Through no fault of my own (other than the misfortune of having to share an office with this woman), I got to hear all the intimate details about my co-worker's fertility treatments, domestic squabbles, financial troubles, plans to go to the shotgun target range, you name it.<br /><br />Luckily she started working from home after having a baby and I got the office all to myself until they fired a year later for (guess what?) poor performance. <br /><br />We all make personal calls at work from time to time, but no one is SO AWESOME at their job that it somehow makes it professional to spend hours of company time on the phone talking to friends and family.Gimme a Breaknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-15167261007312438702010-12-07T13:14:47.770-05:002010-12-07T13:14:47.770-05:00To the anons who take the side of coworker:
I hav...To the anons who take the side of coworker:<br /><br />I have ZERO sympathy for the coworker. The only thing which would pause me from firing/managing her out that coworker is that she's using her own line. <br /><br />I feel for the OP. I dealt with similar issues -- I worked in a doctor's office where I monitored the phones, and my coworker would use the line to conduct her personal life. You use your personal time to conduct your personal life, not office time. I don't care that you're friends with the manager, or if you have to go to the doctor's or you're married or whatnot. Big deal. I managed to talk to my family and schedule my doctor's appointments on my own time. Her daughters, who were several years older than me would call on the main line and tie it up. And they weren't emergencies at all. This woman once freaked out on me because I got distracted by a fire alarm sounding in the building (last office on the last floor, didn't want to burn to a crisp if there was an actual fire). But oh no, I was not supposed to notice she was affecting my job, or that patients who might be in the middle of a heart attack were getting busy signals or anything like that. As far as I'm concerned, if you conduct your personal life within earshot of your coworkers, you void the idea that they're being nosy hall monitors, and if you freak out about your personal calls not being immediately forwarded to you above everything else (I was NOT this woman's secretary and she did NOT sign off on my performance reviews) then you give up the idea that I'm not supposed to monitor that, especially in a three person office.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-74309249573692049722010-12-07T12:19:37.089-05:002010-12-07T12:19:37.089-05:00I rarely disagree with Allison, but I personally w...I rarely disagree with Allison, but I personally wouldn't apologize for not going to the co-worker first.<br /><br />It can be dicey bringing up issues involving rule breaking to a peer - the attitude of "you're not my boss" can rear it's ugly head here. Then you may have to go to the manager anyway which would feel more like tattling to me.<br /><br />If it can be done in a conversational and cooperative way, then it's better to confront them directly. But if not it's safer to go to the manager and let her handle it as she should have - as Allison said, by investigating for herself and addressing the issue without bringing the OP's name into it.<br /><br />Lazy co-workers and passive management is a toxic combination.Jamienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-48407256965164588102010-12-07T12:15:46.956-05:002010-12-07T12:15:46.956-05:00While I'm usually in the "mind your own b...While I'm usually in the "mind your own business" camp on people's breaks and phone calls, the problem here is not about the LW trying to monitor the coworker's behavior--it's that the coworker is distracting the LW, so that they can't get their work done.<br /><br />We're not talking about checking Facebook or doing a round of Sudoku (or a dozen) to clear your head; we're talking about being loud enough to keep others from getting their own work done. <br /><br />If we were talking about when/how/if to bring it up to the manager, I'd suggest focusing on the fact that they're being distracted, not that the coworker is making personal calls, but we're past that point, as it's already been brought up. It might have been worth asking her to be discreet about her calls earlier, since she has shown that she can "slink down in her desk" and have the conversation quietly.KellyKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00107695659185335269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-90775344720320057162010-12-07T12:12:18.861-05:002010-12-07T12:12:18.861-05:00I'm surprised at how harsh many of the respons...I'm surprised at how harsh many of the responses have been.<br /><br />Granted, those people who monitor co-workers out of spite are irritating - but there's no evidence presented that the OP is one of those.<br /><br />She had a problem and mentioned it to her manager. When her manager did respond she went to someone else after two years. That's a long time lag for an office snitch.<br /><br />Of course she was irritated by the personal calls. Hearing them is annoying, but the continual reminder that she's slacking off is worse...that's the kind of thing that gets more irritating as time passes (like a pebble in your shoe) and can be really hard to ignore.<br /><br />There have been studies proving that under performing (lazy) colleagues when tolerating by management actually add negative value to their work places (from a financial perspective) because they either lower the morale and productivity of others (why kill yourself working when there are no consequences for coasting) and higher turnovers of your high performers.<br /><br />There can be a reason for perceived favoritism - but that should be made known in brief - and it shouldn't extend to anything that impacts others.<br /><br />For example - I'm IT so sometimes I come in an hour or so after everyone else. Someone commented to the owner that it seemed I come and go as I please. This person didn't know that due things I needed to do after hours (no users in system) I was working until 10:30 - 11:00 at night...which is why I was wandering in at 9:00 am.<br /><br />I didn't have a problem with that being explained - with no explanation the resentment would have continued to build.<br /><br />It doesn't sound like there are extenuating circumstances in the chatty co-workers performance.Jamienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-34075609990059132772010-12-07T11:40:07.151-05:002010-12-07T11:40:07.151-05:00Frequent personal phone calls are UNPROFESSIONAL a...Frequent personal phone calls are UNPROFESSIONAL and INCONSIDERATE – performance level and workload are COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT. I really don’t want to hear all the details of your kidney stones or custody disputes.<br /><br />Also, is it just me, or does it seem like all the Anonymous posts saying "mind your business" are from the same person (and that maybe he was describing himself when referring to the "innovative, smart facebook-checking coworker")?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5558939360732260529.post-20747932101799358282010-12-07T10:33:42.962-05:002010-12-07T10:33:42.962-05:00I worked as a contractor at a government site and ...I worked as a contractor at a government site and sat next to a woman that spent most of her day on the phone, loudly discussing personal details of her life. My group could do nothing about it because she was government and we were not so I understand how the OP feels. Even if the person is doing a lot of work (which it does not sounds like they are!), it is awful to try to complete your own work and listen to someone on the phone all day long. I'm sure part of her problem with it was having to listen in, through no wish of her own, to all sorts of personal conversations. People saying she should mind her own business obviously haven't been in a similar situation!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com